Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, governments should prioritise health care. Other people believe that there are more important priorities for taxpayers' money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
say that the government
should spend taxpayer money
for
Change preposition
on
heath
Correct your spelling
health
care
. However
, I strongly believe that there are more important the government
should priorities
.
On the one hand, the Replace the word
prioritise
government
should spend funds on health
care
because the most important thing to people
are
to have good Change the verb form
is
health
. As long as the government
can ensure that they provide a good health
care
service to their population, their people
will be able to be the main labor
force to improve the economics of the Change the spelling
labour
country
.
On the other hand
, I believe that there are more important things the government
should prioritize because of 2 reasons. The first reason is government
should spend funs
on education. Because the education system is a fundamental preparation for a Correct your spelling
funds
country
if they
Correct pronoun usage
it
want
to grow in the future. It will lead to developing the main Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
work force
which is of high quantity and quality for the Correct your spelling
workforce
country
. For example
, Singapore
Change noun form
Singapore's
government
did invest
Wrong verb form
invested
lot
of Change the article
a lot
money
on
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
the educations
educations
system and today the resulted in they are even though a small Change the noun form
education
country
but became
one of the Wrong verb form
become
power
countries in the world.
Another reason is that the Replace the word
most powerful
government
should spend taxpayer money
to booth
the economy by improving the unemployment rate for their Correct your spelling
boost
people
. It will help to release pressure on people
who high
paying taxes Add a missing verb
are high
as well as
reduce the economy's dependence on those people
. By the means time, the
societies will be more Correct article usage
apply
equality
, reduce Replace the word
equal
the
social evils and increase Correct article usage
apply
the
happiness.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
while
people
think that government
should spend taxpayer money
for
Change preposition
on
health
care
, it seems to me that there are more important things to priorities
.Replace the word
prioritise
Submitted by luantrat on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly from one point to the next, using appropriate linking words. Also, ensure points are well-supported with clear examples.
task achievement
In terms of task response, aim at presenting more balanced arguments for both views before presenting your opinion. This will make your essay more comprehensive.
task achievement
You should work on expanding your ideas more fully and clearly. Provide more detailed examples to support your claims, especially when contrasting the benefits of health care with other priorities like education and boosting the economy.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frames your argument.
complete response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is a crucial aspect of the task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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