IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in the UK in 2008

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in the UK in 2008
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Information pertaining to the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
 who played common
sports
Use synonyms
 in the
Unuted
Correct your spelling
United
 Kingdom during 2008 has been provided in the given bar chart.
It is clear that
Linking Words
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 had the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of participants in all
sports
Use synonyms
 with the exception of swimming
netball
Use synonyms
 and jogging.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was
greatest
Correct article usage
the greatest
show examples
dispare
Correct your spelling
disparity
 in
netball
Use synonyms
 by
gender
Use synonyms
. Looking at the
further
Linking Words
 detail, it is apparent that the differences between sexes
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 noticeable. Regarding soccer, there was nearly 25% of
participants
Correct article usage
the participants
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 male and just 5%
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 female. With other
sports
Use synonyms
,
males
Use synonyms
 doubled
females
Use synonyms
 at 20% to 10%. For cricket,
males
Use synonyms
 outnumbered
females
Use synonyms
 by 5:1 at 10% to 2%. The figure was similar to
Use synonyms
gender
Correct article usage
the gender
show examples
 rate for table tennis, where
males
Use synonyms
 numbered at about 8% against
males
Use synonyms
approximately
Change preposition
at approximately
show examples
 3%. Moving on to the remaining
sports
Use synonyms
. There was an opposite trend in swimming,
netball
Use synonyms
 and jogging. There
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 25%
females
Use synonyms
 in
netball
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 just
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
nearly 2%
males
Use synonyms
, making it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the biggest
difenrences
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
. There was a lower
number
Use synonyms
 in swimming where
females
Use synonyms
 outnumbered
males
Use synonyms
 at 22% to 14%. Jogging had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 in both
Use synonyms
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
, there was 4% for
females
Use synonyms
 and 3% for
males
Use synonyms
. Basketball and tennis saw the nearly same in
gender
Use synonyms
 where just about 6% to 7% participants.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, gender, sports, netball, males, females with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: