During a recent plane jurney, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurant.You talked to him and suggested that you should cantact him about a possible job in one of his restourants. ● remind him when and where you met ● tell him what kind of job you are interested in ● say why you think you would be suitable for the job

#plane #jurney #businessman #chain #restaurant #cantact #job #restourants

Dera Mr.Adamson, I am writing to express my

interestings

Correct your spelling

interest

in a possible job opportunity at one of your

restaurant

Change to a plural noun

restaurants

show examples

. We had a conversation

durring

Correct your spelling

during

the flight on 12th

march

Capitalize word

March

show examples

In addition

this

Add a comma

this,

show examples

you told me that I will

work

one

Change preposition

in one

show examples

of your

restaurant

Change to a plural noun

restaurants

show examples

. I am interested in

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

as a manager. I think you will spend your precious time for searching another manager I am the best

choise

Correct your spelling

choice

for

this

position. I love

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

Change the article

show examples

manager. The reason is that I have completed a

managment

Correct your spelling

management

dagree

Correct your spelling

degree

in a USA. And

Also

I have worked

Change preposition

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

restaurant

for two years. I left there

due to

low

Correct article usage

the low

show examples

monthly salary And I would like to point out. I am the best

choise

Correct your spelling

choice

for the position and I am not only

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

choise

Correct your spelling

choice

but

also

this

work

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

suitable

work

in a

restaurant

. Thank you for your time and

consediration

Correct your spelling

consideration

. I

lookforward

Correct your spelling

look forward

to hearing you soon. Yours sincerely, Raxmon Kamolov.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Aug 13 2024

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task response

Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Correct words like 'dera', 'interests', 'durring', and 'restourants' for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your paragraphs focus on one clear idea. For example, separate your qualifications from your reasons for leaving your previous job.

task response

You included all the necessary details: reminding Mr. Adamson when and where you met, describing the job you are interested in, and explaining why you are suitable for the job.

coherence cohesion

The letter has a clear greeting and closing which helps to structure the communication effectively.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

162 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Greeting

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think most crime is the result of circumstances. Otthers believes that most crime is cused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There seems to be increasing trend towards assessing students through exams rather tah than Continual assessments. What are advantages and disadvantage?

Fossil fuels (coal, oil, natural gas) are the main source in many countries, but in some countries the use of alternative source of energy (wind and solar energy) are encouraged. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?