IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualifications
Generally, a group of
students
 opinion that learning other subjects is extra to their important topic, on contrast, others believe it is more necessary to spend all their
time
 and attention to study for a qualification. The important key here is to learn every topic professionally and discover a new thing in every area. I have contrasting opinions about it which I will give some details about in my essay.
To begin
, learning another subject can be an opportunity for learners` lives.
For example
, university
students
 have plenty of
time
 than others. They can learn an extra language that is important for modern life. Additional living graduates apply their CV for work and the first request is the extra language. Most of the directors tend to choose who is an extra talented one.
This
 can be reasonable for learning other issues
according to
 the university
time
.
On the other hand
, university`s program is more complicated which takes a lot of
time
 and attention from people.
For instance
,
students
 learn extra which can be a strong point for their professions. Great research shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some
students
 give up their degree for extra subjects and hard lesson programs.
Also
, some humans work to sport their education which makes for unbelievable to study extra text. In my opinion, it completely depends on their abilities, so some of them have great memories which is a positive addition to their degree program,
however
, others find it hard to finish opportunity curriculums.
Thus
, in Azerbaijan, huge groups of
students
 come to university from hard school programs.
As a result
, they try to finish manin and start to work. To calculate. there are some benefits to learning a new thing for universities that, they can apply to their CV skills . It always is good for them,
in contrast
, some people prefer to be on one side and make more progress. A famous Azeri proverb says` The perfect sow maker is good uncomplete an educated person.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clearer logical structure. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and that your arguments are clearly distinguished and built upon.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction, and summarizing your main points more effectively in your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
task achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument effectively, providing a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You have shown the ability to use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures, which makes your essay engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Holistic development
  • - Broadening perspectives
  • - Critical thinking skills
  • - Versatile and adaptable
  • - Job market
  • - Interdisciplinary thinking
  • - Problem-solving skills
  • - Academic performance
  • - Stress management
  • - Time management
  • - In-depth knowledge
  • - Expertise
  • - Resource allocation
  • - Core subjects
  • - Chosen domains
What to do next:
Look at other essays: