A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter. • Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team • Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts • Say how you think the company should spend the money
#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to thank
for
your organization for allocating money either on sports Change preposition
apply
team
or open-air concerts.
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
Firstly
, if money is spent on funding kid’s sports team
for two years, it would enhance their skills and have access to get taught by professional coaches. Fix the agreement mistake
teams
As a result
, they might win the international Olympics and make the community proud.
On the other hands
, if allocated money is utilized for providing free entry to Fix the agreement mistake
hand
concert
for local residents it could improve people’s Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
overall
well-being. Furthermore
, local the
artists would have an opportunity to show their talents to local individuals. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, they will be more famous among
their counterparts.
Change preposition
than
However
, from my personal point of view
the expenditure should be evenly distributed. It would enrich student’s skills and at the same time foster Add a comma
view,
better
mood. Correct article usage
a better
Also
, I would appreciate if
you could take my suggestion into account.
Yours faithfully,
OzodCorrect pronoun usage
it if
Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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suggestion
Be sure to thoroughly proofread your letter for grammatical errors and awkward wording. Consider using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to improve fluency and reduce repetition.
suggestion
Your overall structure is clear, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for even better coherence. Expanding and elaborating on each point a little more would also be beneficial.
structure
The letter has good organization with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing the task points, and a conclusion.
tone
The tone of the letter is suitable for formal communication and maintains politeness throughout.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite