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Writing Samples
Band 5

Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?

#car #ownership #decades #people #mobility #concerns #traffic #congestion #air #pollution
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At the present time, private
car
 ownership has been rising among ordinary
people
. Some
people
 believe owning a
car
 has an effect impact ,
for example
, traffic congestion and air pollution.
While
 others say it is important. In
this
 essay, I will explore the merits and demerits of using a private
car
. On the one hand, the public
people
 motivated to use their own
car
 which leads to several advantages. The primary reason is that individuals get easy mobility to work. To demonstrate more, students who go to school by
car
, feel relaxed and have breakfast without hurrying up.
In addition
, they do not waste time to wait for transportation.
On the other hand
, there are foremost impacts on
owner's
Correct article usage
the owner's
show examples
car
. The possible reason is air pollution. many researchers mention
this
 point, "Private cars lead to air pollution".
For instance
, each home has three or four cars and all of them go to work at the same time in the morning. Actually,
this
 trend leads to the second issue which is traffic jams and traffic accidents.
Therefore
, the community breaks the system of the country and creates an unhealthy environment. In conclusion, I strongly believe the advantages outnumber the disadvantages.
However
,
people
 should get strict about moving on short trips if they can.
Thus
, using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation
for example
, buses and subways to avoid crowded areas and the chance to connect with
people
.
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical structure of your arguments. The transitions between points can be smoother, and the main ideas can be more clearly outlined and connected.
task achievement
Try to develop your points further with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help in making your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mobility
  • independence
  • economic benefits
  • automotive industry
  • convenience
  • commuting
  • leisure activities
  • social benefits
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • global warming
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • public infrastructure
  • maintenance
  • road safety
What to do next:
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