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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar chart illustrates the average number of
days
Use synonyms
 with rainfall per
month
Use synonyms
 in two Australian cities:
Brisbane
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 and
Canberra
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,
while
Linking Words
 the line chart represents the fluctuations in average daily temperatures in the specified cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, even though
Canberra
Use synonyms
 witnesses comparatively lower temperatures,
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 experiences more rainfall most of the time throughout the year.
According to
Linking Words
 the supplied line graph, in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
, the
temperature
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 tends to remain between 20
degrees
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Celsius
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 to 30
degrees
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Celsius
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 in February; the
temperature
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 gap reduces in April, before becoming widened
month
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 on
month
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 till October. The
temperature
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 range restores to its original value by the end of the year in December.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the disparity between the highest and lowest
Use synonyms
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
 in
Canberra
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 is extreme; the lowest
temperature
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 recorded in January is recorded to be just below 15
degrees
Use synonyms
Celsius
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whereas
Linking Words
 the highest number
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 at just over 25
degrees
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Celsius
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. The
temperature
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 gap continues to become huge for the rest of the
month
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, showering occurs for approximately half of the
month
Use synonyms
 in the first four and
last
Linking Words
 months of the year in
Brisbane
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, whilst it rains just well over 6
days
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 in
Canberra
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 during the same months.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the summer months, namely June, July, August, September, and October, witness a diametrically opposite trend; showering occurs for precisely 10
days
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 every
month
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Brisbane
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, just below 10
days
Use synonyms
 are wet.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words days, month, brisbane, canberra, temperature, degrees, celsius with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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