Mobile phone and the internet could have many benefits for old people. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for old people of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?
In the modern era, people’s life has completely changed through the development of technology. Despite the fact that young generations have truly adapted
with
technological transformation, the elderly have not embarked on being compatible with the Internet and mobiles which have a host of benefits for their lives. The pros of them and some practical Change preposition
to
solution
will be elaborated and proposed in Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
this
essay to extend them in all life’s periods.
In terms of the effects of modern equipment, due to
the light fact that the aged are passing an indelicate age, the most important feature of them would be taking care of them . Fortunately, technology has been widely developed in medical areas as well as
communication fields. It is expected that this
enhancement in medical facilities would undoubtedly mitigate the burden of looking after them. For example
, the high risk of heart attack among the elderly causes to
check and control their vital signs, Correct pronoun usage
them to
however
, the Apple company has developed a new cell phone which can regularly control heart beats
and in an urgent situation automatically call Correct your spelling
heartbeats
the
ambulance.
It is believed that the main reason for rejecting various modern products in life would be the lack of recognition in instruction. Correct article usage
an
Hence
, unequivocally, if the aged get cognizance of using technological gadgets, they will definitely exert them on their lifestyle. Different ways of awareness would be implemented by relatives and authorities. Authorities could hold some free campaigns and seminars for the sake of increasing their cognition. Not to mention
that relatives could play an effective role in this
aspect too. For example
, grandchildren, who are cared more
by grandparents, could teach them how Change preposition
for more
work
with mobiles and digital Add the particle
to work
watch
.
In conclusion, the gap between the elderly and technology is remarkably noticeable. Fix the agreement mistake
watches
Although
,
the Internet and cell phones would be beneficial for them, the elderly avoid it Remove the comma
apply
due to
the lack of knowledge about its function. It is hoped that authorities and young generations could assist older generations in modernizing their lives.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay further, ensure that your ideas are logically organized within each paragraph. For instance, restructuring some sentences and paragraphs would make your argument clearer and more concise.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will help in maintaining a steady flow of information throughout the essay.
task achievement
In Task Achievement, strive for deeper analysis and provide more examples where possible. While your current examples are relevant, expanding on them could enrich your argument.
task achievement
Make certain that you clearly articulate all points and avoid any vagueness in your arguments. This can help in achieving a complete response and conveying comprehensive ideas more effectively.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview and summarizing the main points effectively.
relevant specific examples
You have included relevant and specific examples that support your arguments well, such as the example of the Apple phone's heart monitoring feature.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...