Mobile phone and the internet could have many benefits for old people. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for old people of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?

#phone #internet #people #age #group #technology #phones

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the modern era, people’s life has completely changed through the development of technology. Despite the fact that young generations have truly adapted

with

Change preposition

show examples

technological transformation, the elderly have not embarked on being compatible with the Internet and mobiles which have a host of benefits for their lives. The pros of them and some practical

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

will be elaborated and proposed in

this

essay to extend them in all life’s periods. In terms of the effects of modern equipment,

due to

the light fact that the aged are passing an indelicate age, the most important feature of them would be taking care of them . Fortunately, technology has been widely developed in medical areas

as well as

communication fields. It is expected that

this

enhancement in medical facilities would undoubtedly mitigate the burden of looking after them.

For example

, the high risk of heart attack among the elderly causes

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

check and control their vital signs,

however

, the Apple company has developed a new cell phone which can regularly control

heart beats

Correct your spelling

heartbeats

show examples

and in an urgent situation automatically call

the

Correct article usage

show examples

ambulance. It is believed that the main reason for rejecting various modern products in life would be the lack of recognition in instruction.

Hence

, unequivocally, if the aged get cognizance of using technological gadgets, they will definitely exert them on their lifestyle. Different ways of awareness would be implemented by relatives and authorities. Authorities could hold some free campaigns and seminars for the sake of increasing their cognition.

Not to mention

that relatives could play an effective role in

this

aspect too.

For example

, grandchildren, who are cared

Change preposition

for more

show examples

by grandparents, could teach them how

work

Add the particle

to work

show examples

with mobiles and digital

watch

Fix the agreement mistake

watches

show examples

. In conclusion, the gap between the elderly and technology is remarkably noticeable.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the Internet and cell phones would be beneficial for them, the elderly avoid it

due to

the lack of knowledge about its function. It is hoped that authorities and young generations could assist older generations in modernizing their lives.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Aug 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To enhance your essay further, ensure that your ideas are logically organized within each paragraph. For instance, restructuring some sentences and paragraphs would make your argument clearer and more concise.

coherence cohesion

Improve cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will help in maintaining a steady flow of information throughout the essay.

task achievement

In Task Achievement, strive for deeper analysis and provide more examples where possible. While your current examples are relevant, expanding on them could enrich your argument.

task achievement

Make certain that you clearly articulate all points and avoid any vagueness in your arguments. This can help in achieving a complete response and conveying comprehensive ideas more effectively.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview and summarizing the main points effectively.

relevant specific examples

You have included relevant and specific examples that support your arguments well, such as the example of the Apple phone's heart monitoring feature.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?
Parents have a major role in the upbringing of children especially, when it comes to leisure time. Today's generation has a lot of exposure to different kinds of toys making their spare time vibrant. In this essay, we will discuss the pros and cons of having a large number of toys for children.
5.5
band
In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?
In the present age, how the concerns about the high volume of traffic could be dealt with has sparked much debate. The primary reason we need to take into consideration is hectic plans of companies and schools leading to the mind-blowing amount of cars gathering in the streets. Having taken the measures like the improvement in every day arrangements or sponsorship of cycling routes and public transport, the issue could be managed.
5
band
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent decades, more and more individuals decide to delay their parenthood. Statistics show that the average age for parenthood rose to 30, nine years older than it was in 1970. The major reasons behind this trend are the increasing living costs, social changes, and personal hobbies. Even though a child later in life can lead to increased health risk for the woman and the baby, older parents are more financially stable and emotionally prepared which allows their children to properly grow physically and mentally.
7
band
Companies are responsible only for making money for their investors. Therefore, they should not be held accountable for the environmental and social costs of their business activity to society as a whole. Businesses should do no more than concentrate on making profit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nobody would argue that these days a lot depends on the reputation of a business as the company can maintain its status and clients this way. However, a key question is what responsibility should businesses bear regarding social and environmental costs. I personally believe that businesses should focus on creating profits for themselves, but they also should not forget about their reputation.
4
band
Some peole believe that tecnology has led to many positive development in their lives other think tecnology is gradually take over controlof the way people live.
Technology is part of our lives. While some people see this situation has brought many improvements, others feel that technology is too controlling. Personally, I think that technology is largely beneficial.

Mobile phone and the internet could have many benefits for old people. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for old people of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some peole believe that tecnology has led to many positive development in their lives other think tecnology is gradually take over controlof the way people live.