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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#availability #airlines #people #travel #world #feel #development
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The issue has sparked an ongoing debate regarding the current increasing availability of low-cost airlines.
While
 some claim that it is satisfactory when people can travel around the world, the opposite holds a strong view that it is unsatisfactory
overally
Correct your spelling
overall
.
While
 the latter is valid to some extent, I would consider myself an advocate of the former. Without a shadow of a doubt, we can obviously see the advantages of
this
 development. In the previous days, only the affluent could go to other countries, but now astonishingly, even the
middle-class
Correct your spelling
middle class
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 can do that too.
This
 thriving allows people to have an opportunity to broaden their horizons and to experience new things. Going to other countries, they can observe a wealth of picturesque landmarks
such
 as France's Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty in the US.
Furthermore
, they can undergo completely different customs and
also
 improve their language ability when communicating with foreign people.
Hence
, with
this
 boost, not only wealth dwellers but
also
 the ordinary can enhance their
lives’
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lives
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standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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. Despite the cost-effective airline development’s redeeming features, its counterpart still lingers.
However
, its drawback is insignificant compared with its demerits since these economical airlines already have far-reaching
resolution
Fix the agreement mistake
resolutions
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 for it. Directly proportional
with
Change preposition
to
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 the ever-increasing flights, exhausted fumes coming from them can greatly lead to environmental degradation. Air pollution and greenhouse effects,
for instance
, can negatively affect inhabitants’ health, they may have to suffer from respiratory diseases
such
 as asthma or even lung cancer.
Nevertheless
,
this
 urgent problem is covered by airline policies, annually, they have to pay equivalently with the number of their flights to the government.
Thus
, the state can utilize that money in order to enhance the environment and invest in green technology. In conclusion,
although
 I agree that increasing
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
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 of low-cost airlines has an environmental disadvantage, it can not overshadow its counterparts
due to
 their policies.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion. While you provide a clear stance and valid arguments, ensuring you give equal weight to both sides of the argument would improve your task response score. Try to develop your counterargument a bit more.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical structure by offering clear topic sentences and concluding sentences for each paragraph. This reinforces the argument and helps guide the reader through your reasoning. Additionally, avoid overly complex sentence structures to prevent misunderstanding.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, effectively framing your argument and summarizing your points.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant specific examples, such as mentioning famous landmarks, which help to illustrate your points clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Affordability
  • Global mobility
  • Convenience
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic benefits
  • Cultural exchange
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Drawbacks
  • Sustainable travel
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