Cyber insecurity is a rising problem in many countries. What problems does a lack of cyber security cause to Internet users? What solutions can you suggest to solve it?
In the modern era, the Internet has penetrated extensively in
the
diverse life’s spheres. Despite the fact that it has unequivocally assisted humans’ Correct article usage
apply
life
, it is accompanied by paving the way of executing Fix the agreement mistake
lives
crime
which threatens everybody’s privacy. This
essay will express the consequences of the insecure environment of the Internet and propose the
practical solutions for the sake of Correct article usage
apply
protection
it against Replace the word
protecting
cyberattack
.
The Internet’s drawbacks are undoubtedly acknowledged; Fix the agreement mistake
cyberattacks
hence
it leads to a plethora of aftermaths in humans’ lives. This
technology provides a sufficient bed for committing new
Correct article usage
a new
crime
named cybercrime which causes to convert it into an unreliable network. To put it differently, thefts
used to commit the Correct your spelling
thieves
crime
onsite
, but, recently, they do it virtually and Correct your spelling
on site
steel
not only victims’ money but Correct your spelling
steal
also
their identity information. Consequently
, victims are blackmailed into paying extra money to save identity
. Correct pronoun usage
their identity
For example
, the data center
of Snapp, Change the spelling
centre
as
a big and famous company in Iran, was hacked by cybercriminals and was asked to pay a huge capital not to sell its clients’ data on the dark web, as an illegal website. Change preposition
apply
This
occurrence leads
to people Wrong verb form
led
boycotted
Snap.
In terms of negating Wrong verb form
boycotting
this
horrible crime
which causes harmful influence on the citizens’ emotions and revenues, governments and people are the onus on deterring this
action simultaneously. Authorities should provide a highly secure infrastructure through coordinating with professional computer engineers who are expertise
in Fix the agreement mistake
experts
this
area. Additionally
, people should have adequate knowledge about the Internet because most cybercriminals execute their plans on the elderly who have the least knowledge about it. For instance
, Iranians received an unknown message along with
an unsecure
link, which has viruses, and fortunately, awareness messages were sent by police throughout Iran to enlighten them and prevent Correct your spelling
unsecured
insecure
this
illegal phenomenon.
To conclude
, the necessity of the technology is undeniable, but criminals misuse it in their criminal desire
which makes it Fix the agreement mistake
desires
into
an unsecure function. It is believed that solving Change preposition
apply
this
issue entails the
coordination between individuals and governments through acknowledging and enhancing security.Correct article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Try to refine the essay's logical flow. Some sentences and phrases are not completely clear and could be rephrased for better readability and logical structure.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from slightly more developed arguments and more varied sentence structures to avoid repetitiveness.
coherence cohesion
Try to elevate the level of formal language and avoid small inaccuracies and typos such as 'steel' instead of 'steal'. This will enhance the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples which illustrate your points effectively, such as the Snapp data breach example. This is very helpful in supporting your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and serve their purposes well by setting up the essay and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the key issues and possible solutions in a comprehensive manner, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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