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Writing Samples /
Band 5

You have a friend who lives abroad. You have decided to apply for a course at one of the colleges there. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, ask what the city is like say what work or study you are doing now explain why you want to do this course

#friend #lives #course #colleges #city #work #study
Dear Rym, How are you? I hope my letter finds you well.
I m
Correct your spelling
I'm
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
this
 letter to inform you about my decision to apply for a course at one of the colleges where you
lives
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live
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. I present the details in my letter.
Firstly
, I want to ask you about the city where you live. I want to know about
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
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 educational system specifically about the conditions of acceptance in some language
courses
such
the
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as the
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 name of the colleges, names of
courses
 and the inscription form.
Moreover
, I want
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
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 inform me about the accommodation and public transport.
Secondly
, you know that I teach marketing
courses
. I teach many
courses
such
marketing
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as marketing
show examples
 strategy, marketing mix, consumer
behavior
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behaviour
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 and advertising strategy.
Theses
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These
show examples
courses
 need to have high ability in
English
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the English
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 language for reading and preparing the material.
Then
, I want to continue and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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progress in
this
 work. For these reasons, I want to learn English.
Finally
, I have information that
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 English in a college in your city is the best decision.
Then
, I hope you help me to know more information and to make an inscription in one of these colleges.
I m
Correct your spelling
I'm
 waiting for your response to decide about
this
 subject. Bests regards
Submitted by rabebhamdi on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify the structure of your letter by improving transitions between ideas. For instance, after asking about the city's education system, you can introduce the next idea with 'Additionally' or 'In terms of my current studies'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a formal closing like 'Best regards' instead of 'Bests regards,' and make sure to proofread your writing to correct minor errors such as 'writting' (should be 'writing') and 'inscription' (enrollment).
Task Achievement
You have addressed all the points required by the task: asking about the city, describing your current work, and explaining your reason for wanting to do the course.
Task Achievement
The tone of your letter is generally appropriate for writing to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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