In some countries, there are more young people choosing to enroll in work based training instead of atending university
Rather than enrolling
tertiary
Change preposition
in tertiary
institutes
, youngsters
are considerably selecting to take part in work-based training in handful
Correct article usage
a handful
nations
. Change preposition
of nations
This
essay will discuss its demerits overshadow its merits.
To begin
with, young people would not be able to gain proper knowledge
about anything if they are
not going to educational Wrong verb form
were
institutes
. The universities
provide proper knowledge
of any particular subject in detail by providing both practical and theoritical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
knowledge
. Additionally
, the rate of getting reputated
and high salary job inclined after graduating from Correct your spelling
reputation
university
. Therefore
, students
must go to university
for acquiring
Change preposition
to acquire
education
.
Correct article usage
an education
Furthermore
, attending undergraduate programs assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
youngsters
to make
connections with immense companies. Change preposition
in making
Although
training institutes
have adults to social isolation, they do not organize seminars which are helded
by Correct your spelling
held
headed
universities
to connect with businessmens
and professionals with adolescents. In these events, Correct your spelling
businesses
businessmen
students
are able to share their resumes and find suitable jobs according to
their interest
. Fix the agreement mistake
interests
For instance
, Google hire
80% of their employees from Change the verb form
hires
the
Correct article usage
apply
reputated
Correct your spelling
reputed
universities
job fairs by checking Change noun form
universities'
university's
resumes
of Correct article usage
the resumes
students
and asking to
attend job interviews. Correct pronoun usage
them to
Hence
, seminars assist students
to get
jobs in their Change preposition
in getting
respected
fields.
Despite enrolling in Replace the word
respective
universities
has numerous advantages, its disadvantges
cannot be overlooked. Attending work-based training Correct your spelling
disadvantages
assist
young people to gain some skills at affordable Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
price
rather than spending chunks on Fix the agreement mistake
prices
university
education. Some youngsters
do not want to allocate a significant proportion of money into
education, rather they want to spend that money Change preposition
to
into
setting Change preposition
on
new
businesses. Change preposition
up new
Moreover
, there are some works that only require training rather than theoretical knowledge
of it.
In conclusion, Although
universities
are able to provide in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
knowledge
about any subject and held
seminars to get jobs, Wrong verb form
hold
yet
attending Correct word choice
apply
university
would be expensive. That's why youngsters
try to inherit skill
from workplace training Fix the agreement mistake
skills
institutes
at the
cheaper rate.Correct article usage
a
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. Consider using transitional phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Some of the ideas presented are clear, but they require further development and specific examples to fully support your arguments. Try to include more details and examples to make your points stronger.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can detract from the overall clarity of your essay. Taking the time to proofread and refine your language will improve the readability of your writing.
structure
The essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps give the reader a sense of completeness.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the merits and demerits of the issue, showing a balanced perspective.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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