Some people think that it is best to accept bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Z

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations #z

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Obviously, some people think that it is best to accept a bad decision,

such

Linking Words

as an unsatisfactory job or

shortage

Correct article usage

a shortage

show examples

of cash that individuals take.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, getting money from their part-time work helps to overcome

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

difficulties and problems.

It is clear that

Linking Words

bucks make our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

more comfortable and

also

Linking Words

satisfying.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it gives us a good opportunity to make our own decisions and our freedom.

For example

Linking Words

, the online company suddenly went into the red, and they do not have extra coins. So,

that is

Linking Words

why we need a full replenishment in pu bank accounts. Another possibility would be,

shortage

Correct article usage

a shortage

show examples

of salary.

This

Linking Words

is a worldwide problem in our century. It is because, economically and politically, issues in many countries make our payment harder.

For example

Linking Words

, in our

nation

Add a comma

nation,

show examples

some professions require more and more wages like -

nerses

Correct your spelling

nurses

,lawyers and teachers, but they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

. Especially, because of public and governmental spending and demands. In conclusion, some employers believe that acceptance gives us a chance to overcome competition. Even though I definitely agree with

this

Linking Words

essay, I suppose that all your troubles will

solve

Wrong verb form

be solved

show examples

and live your life without

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of happiness and worry.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Wed Aug 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

Begin with a clearer introduction that outlines both views more explicitly. This helps the reader understand the scope of the essay from the start.

task achievement

Develop each main point more thoroughly with clear topic sentences, explanations, and supporting examples.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases that show the relationship between ideas.

task achievement

Provide more balanced arguments for both viewpoints before expressing your own opinion in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Polish the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay and then presenting your opinion clearly.

task achievement

Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and you attempt to discuss both views, which is essential for this task.

task achievement

You provided examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments more clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

199 words

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Some people think that it is best to accept bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Z

Your opinion

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family, while others find a family-run business unsuccessful. Discuss both opinions and present your own.