Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

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While
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it is widely debated over the large expenses on family
celebrations
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, some believe that it created a priceless memory among the family members, others argue that
such
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investment
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
to be a waste of money and no need to spend that extra-bills. Both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of view and
opinion
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opinions
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toward
this
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controversial topic will be
further
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discussed in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that
celebrations
Use synonyms
of the family is a special
events
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event
show examples
that you need to put extra effort
on
Change preposition
into
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, especially money.
This
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is
possibly
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possible
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because the larger the payment, the greater the
amount
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number
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of
affections
Fix the agreement mistake
affection
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to
Change preposition
for
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their
love
Replace the word
loved
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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as they. Take graduation
celebration
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrations
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in Thailand,
for example
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; Thai people generally
celebrates
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celebrate
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
academic success of their members
in
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on
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a large scale
such
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as providing cartering
service
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services
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for nearby
neighbourhood
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neighbourhoods
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and relatives to congratulate their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
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one's
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ones
show examples
. Many opponents of
this
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idea might
opposed
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oppose
be opposed
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that family
celebrations
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can be done frugally yet impact and heartfelt. To simply explain, it is understandable that happiness for each family
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
viewed differently,
while
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some might appreciate simple but meaningful acts like spending quality time together over enjoying a luxurious
five star
Add a hyphen
five-star
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dinner that could make their financial problem.
However
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, I personally argue in favour of the latter claim seeing that family events can be cherished
evenif
Correct your spelling
even if
a limited budget. Take my family,
for example
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; we generally set up a family gathering as
simplest
Correct word choice
simple
show examples
as it can be, yet it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
heartwarming as well
such
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costly
celebrations
Use synonyms
. In summary,
although
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it is undeniable that spending
costly
Change preposition
on costly
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family celebration can be viewed as a waste of money, I am of the opinion that there is no need
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such
Change preposition
for such
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
an event to
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
love and bonding among the family as we all can appreciate at it simplest.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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logical structure
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relevant specific examples
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introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a good structure to the essay.
complete response
You discussed both perspectives of the issue, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cherish
  • nurture
  • strengthen
  • bond
  • create memories
  • enjoyment
  • sense of belonging
  • reconnect
  • unite
  • traditions
  • create traditions
  • financial burden
  • priorities
  • moderation
  • budget
  • frugal
  • extravagant
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