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Band 6.5

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries.

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries.
#consumption #three #foods #wheat #maize #rice #people #four #countries
The given table represents the three basic foods:
wheat
, maize, and rice, consumed by citizens in four different nations, indicated as a unit of calories per person per day.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that Polish
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 consume
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
relatively low on average,
whereas
 that of the other three regions
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 greater.
However
, it is interesting to note that
ratio
Correct article usage
the ratio
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 of
carbohydrates
Change the noun form
carbohydrate
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 consumption
is
Verb problem
apply
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varied
Replace the word
varies
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depend
Change the form of the verb
depending
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 on the
locations
Fix the agreement mistake
location
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.
To begin
 with, at about 1,445, Rice was the largest portion consumed by Cambodians among all other nations, followed by
egyptians
Change the capitalization
Egyptians
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,
mexicans
Change the capitalization
Mexicans
show examples
, and
polishes
Capitalize word
Polishes
show examples
, at 501, 57, and 19, respectively.
Therefore
, at 1,083,
Mexico
Replace the word
Mexican
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 consume maize the greatest.
While
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Egypt accounted for half of
Mexico
Change noun form
Mexico's
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 figures at about 578, the statistics in Cambodia only a tenth of Mexicans at 103. Surprisingly, there is no consumption of maize found in Poland. In regards
with
Change preposition
to
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wheat
, Egyptians
was
Change the verb form
were
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 the only group who
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
wheat
 the highest at 1,095.
Moreover
, Polish
peoples
 and Mexican
peoples
 are approximately 4/5 and 1/5 of in Egpyt at 865, and 275, respectively.
Lastly
, Cambodian people seem to show less
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 in
wheat
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with other foods at 18.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words wheat, peoples with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • basic foods
  • wheat
  • maize
  • rice
  • countries
  • comparing
  • analyzing
  • trends
  • factors
  • influencing
  • patterns
  • implications
  • health
  • nutrition
  • solutions
  • food security
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