Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is debated that some enrollments argue whether to focus on one or multiple subjects for a better future. I believe that
study
all topics would Wrong verb form
studying
make sure
a finer outcome by Verb problem
ensure
broadering
their perspectives about their Correct your spelling
broadening
coming times
Correct word choice
future
career
and Fix the agreement mistake
careers
enhance
critical thinking Wrong verb form
enhancing
skills
.
To begin
with, studying more than one subjects
can help Fix the agreement mistake
subject
broadening
their perspectives in regard to Wrong verb form
broaden
foreseeable
profession. When a student has more knowledge and Add an article
the foreseeable
Add a missing verb
are exposured
exposured
to various education fields, it is Correct your spelling
exposure
undoubtable
that they will have more insight Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
about
Change preposition
in
their
long run. Change the word
the
For instance
, individuals with a limitation academic tend to choose wrong
pathways since Correct article usage
the wrong
their
only understand a few Change the pronoun
they
point
of view. Change to a plural noun
points
In addition
, a diverse subject
can make sure students to
develop a higher skill Fix the infinitive
apply
such
as problem-solving skills
. When taking part in multiple areas of education, it can be difficult and challenging but in the long term, pupils will find it easy to manage as they have developed their skills
in useful ways.
On the other hand
, freshmen who is
focusing solely on Change the verb form
are
main
Change the article
the main
subject
may lead to
Verb problem
have
a
better Correct article usage
apply
overall
academic performance. When specializing in main
Change the article
the main
subject
, not only reduce
stress but Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
also
time management. Moreover
, this
provides a
depth Correct article usage
apply
knowledge
and expertise Change preposition
of knowledge
on
Change preposition
in
chosen
field. Add an article
the chosen
However
, I believe that individuals should not limit their expertness rather than explore towards
Change preposition
apply
the
wisdom.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
although
solely on main
Change the article
the main
subject
can help improve overall
performance and reduce stress, I believe focusing on multiple subjects can help diverse
a person's perspective in terms of career, and Replace the word
diversify
developing
their critical thinking Wrong verb form
develop
skills
.Submitted by tifjong on
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task achievement
Try to construct a more clear and engaging introduction to help set the stage for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea and that supporting points are well-developed with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions like 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' and 'however' to make your arguments flow more logically.
task achievement
Work on your language accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and word choice, to improve clarity.
task achievement
You have attempted to discuss both views, which shows a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a conclusion that summarizes your opinion effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example