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Band 4

In your opinion how can government of each country eradicate or lessen the crimes committed by their own people use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#government #country #crimes #people #support
To effectively reduce or eradicate
crime
,
governments
 must adopt a multifaceted approach that addresses the root causes of criminal behavior, strengthens
law
enforcement
, and fosters community engagement. Addressing Socioeconomic InequalitiesPoverty Reduction: Economic hardship is often a driving force behind
crime
. By implementing policies that reduce poverty,
such
 as creating job opportunities, improving
education
, and providing social safety nets,
governments
 can alleviate the conditions that lead to criminal behavior.
Education
 and Skill Development:
Education
 is a powerful tool in
crime
 prevention.
Governments
 should invest in quality
education
 and vocational training programs, particularly in underserved communities, to equip individuals with the skills needed to find employment and avoid the lure of criminal activities. Strengthening
Law
Enforcement
 and Judicial SystemsEffective Policing:
Governments
 need to ensure that
law
enforcement
 agencies are well-trained, adequately funded, and equipped with modern technology to combat
crime
. Community policing initiatives can
also
 build trust between
law
enforcement
 and the public, encouraging cooperation in
crime
 prevention. Judicial Reform: A fair and efficient judicial system is crucial in deterring
crime
.
Governments
 should work to eliminate corruption, reduce case backlogs, and ensure that justice is swift and impartial. Harsh penalties alone are not enough; the certainty of punishment is a stronger deterrent. Reducing
crime
 requires a comprehensive approach that goes beyond punitive measures. By addressing the underlying causes of
crime
, enhancing the effectiveness of
law
enforcement
, and
governments
 can create safer societies. The key lies to improve the quality of
education
 to achieve long-term results.
Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well, but providing more specific examples would strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning specific policies or successful programs in certain countries could illustrate your points better.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring the logical flow of your ideas. Some transitions between paragraphs and points could be smoother; using linking words or phrases can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your discussion well.
coherence cohesion
The main points of your argument are well-supported with logical reasoning.
task achievement
You have addressed the main aspects of the question comprehensively, covering socioeconomic inequalities, law enforcement, and education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • law enforcement
  • recidivism
  • surveillance
  • crime-prone areas
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • mental health services
  • public awareness campaigns
  • deterrence
  • at-risk populations
  • stringent laws
  • quick response
  • crime prevention
  • data analytics
  • trust and cooperation
  • opportunities
  • education programs
  • employment programs
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