Many customs and traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to modern life and not worth keeping. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
A lot of conventions and
traditions
of living are not pertinent anymore to contemporary life and not worth preserving. This
essay disagrees with the idea because the traditional way of living is more beneficial for people
, also
customs give a sense of community and belonging.
Traditions
should be kept because they are comfortable and healthy for people
's behaviour, in addition
, people
are used to live
with Change the verb form
living
traditions
because their parents are living with them and people
were accustomed to live with customs. For example
, in Kazakhstan, people
tie their babies in construction
of wood which swings from side to side to put the baby to sleep and in accordance with custom by doing Correct article usage
the construction
this
the child's back will be straight, healthy and strong.
Another reason for keeping traditions
is that they show
national unity and affinity. If people
stick to traditions
, it will show
our nation and its wealth. For example
, no matter who comes over we prepare our traditional food called beshbarmak and by this
, we are showing our respect for the person who came into our house.
In conclusion, traditions
matter for our routine life and to show
our nation's wealth and nearness. However
, I believe that our customs would be kept in our country by showing respect to our ancestors. It is recommended that more countries need to keep their conventions to show
their nation's entity and nature.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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introduction conclusion presence
Consider enhancing the introduction to better frame your argument and capture the reader's attention. It sets the tone for the essay. You could also improve the conclusion by succinctly summarizing the main points instead of introducing new ideas.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using more linking words and phrases. This will help maintain a logical flow and make your arguments easier to follow.
logical structure
Be mindful of redundancy and repetition in your writing. Try to present your points concisely without repeating the same ideas in different sentences.
clear comprehensive ideas
To improve clarity, consider expanding each main point with additional explanations or examples. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and offer a more comprehensive argument.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant specific examples, such as the tradition in Kazakhstan of putting babies to sleep in a wooden construction. This effectively illustrates the argument and shows a cultural perspective.
complete response
The essay generally stays on topic and provides a complete response to the prompt, making a clear case for why traditions should be preserved.
supported main points
The body paragraphs each focus on a specific reason for keeping traditions, which helps in structuring the argument clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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