The topic of this: Currently, most students are studying only mathematics and the world language, English. What do you think its advantages more than its disadvantages?

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Nowadays, people argue that most
students
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are studying only
mathematics
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and the foreign language is
English
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.
This
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essay will discuss why I think its merits outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, in
this
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modern
world
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,
mathematics
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is the main subject that most
students
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should learn because it is the common thing that we can use for working or studying in the future.
Furthermore
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,
English
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is the
world
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language that people around the
world
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might use for communication.
For example
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, I have been to Australia to learn and travel by myself for 3 weeks,
hence
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, I have to speak
English
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all the time to interact with people that come from around the
world
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.
In addition
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, most employers would require jobseekers to have knowledge of
mathematics
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and speak
English
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to their customers,
therefore
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, they would have more job opportunities.
On the other hand
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, most
students
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who only learn about
mathematics
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and
English
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might not improve their ability to work much.
Moreover
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, science can be an essential subject for pupils to learn about and
students
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would study
too
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it too
show examples
because it can give them protection from stress.
For example
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, high school
students
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have learned and spent time to increase their skills in time management.
To sum up
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,
mathematics
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and
English
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have various benefits,
such
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as helping their
students
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to develop their knowledge and have more opportunities for working.
While
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it might not suitable for
students
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that interested in science.
Submitted by napatnp18065322 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples and stronger evidence to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and enrich the content.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the overall coherence of your essay by making sure the transition between ideas and paragraphs is smooth and logical. This can be achieved by using more linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding more details and explanations to your main points to support them more effectively. This will also help to make your writing more comprehensive.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task and presents a well-defined opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good structure to the essay.
task achievement
Your personal example of traveling to Australia adds a nice personal touch and helps illustrate your point about the practicality of learning English.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • international business
  • cultural exchanges
  • mathematical literacy
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • economic opportunities
  • globalized job market
  • standardized education
  • universal subjects
  • curricula consistency
  • STEM fields
  • technological advancement
  • innovation
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