The topic of this: Currently, most students are studying only mathematics and the world language, English. What do you think its advantages more than its disadvantages?

#topic #students #mathematics #world #language #english

Nowadays, people argue that most

students

are studying only

mathematics

and the foreign language is

English

This

essay will discuss why I think its merits outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, in

this

modern

world

mathematics

is the main subject that most

students

should learn because it is the common thing that we can use for working or studying in the future.

Furthermore

English

is the

world

language that people around the

world

might use for communication.

For example

, I have been to Australia to learn and travel by myself for 3 weeks,

hence

, I have to speak

English

all the time to interact with people that come from around the

world

In addition

, most employers would require jobseekers to have knowledge of

mathematics

and speak

English

to their customers,

therefore

, they would have more job opportunities.

On the other hand

, most

students

who only learn about

mathematics

and

English

might not improve their ability to work much.

Moreover

, science can be an essential subject for pupils to learn about and

students

would study

too

Correct pronoun usage

it too

show examples

because it can give them protection from stress.

For example

, high school

students

have learned and spent time to increase their skills in time management.

To sum up

mathematics

and

English

have various benefits,

such

as helping their

students

to develop their knowledge and have more opportunities for working.

While

it might not suitable for

students

that interested in science.

Submitted by napatnp18065322 on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples and stronger evidence to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and enrich the content.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the overall coherence of your essay by making sure the transition between ideas and paragraphs is smooth and logical. This can be achieved by using more linking words and phrases.

coherence cohesion

Consider adding more details and explanations to your main points to support them more effectively. This will also help to make your writing more comprehensive.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the task and presents a well-defined opinion on the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good structure to the essay.

task achievement

Your personal example of traveling to Australia adds a nice personal touch and helps illustrate your point about the practicality of learning English.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The topic of this: Currently, most students are studying only mathematics and the world language, English. What do you think its advantages more than its disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries, women now are able to join the armed forces on equal basis with men. However, some people feel that only men should be members of the army, navy or Air Force. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

As technology develops, more shopping and business is done through the internet while communication face to face becomes less frequent. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?