Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others ‚however, believe that school is the palce to learn this. discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Being a good
society
member
is really important ,some people believe that school
is the best place to learn about this
while
others think it is better to teach kids at home
, This
essay agrees with the idea of teaching them at home
.
School
provide Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
and
good learning strategies for Correct word choice
apply
Childers
‚Correct your spelling
children
school's
teaching method develops Change noun form
school
society
Change noun form
society's
improvments
.A Good Correct your spelling
improvements
society
member
provides an amazing and helpful environment for the population . In addition
, the way people think and behaves
. Correct subject-verb agreement
behave
Majority
of parents never Correct article usage
The majority
takes
Change the verb form
take
this
seriously thinking that school
is enough for this
idea . Therefore
, the child will believe that this
particular topic is useless ,
since it was never mentioned and discussed by their own parents.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, it is important to take not
that teaching children at Correct your spelling
note
home
about a perfect society
member
behavior
is quite effective making them gain a better understanding of its benefits, Change the spelling
behaviour
such
as a healthy lifestyle, good connections with people and safe
environment.
Correct article usage
a safe
To sum up
, teaching children and informing them about the ideal society
member
is important both in school
and their home
. School
ministry should upload videos about its impacts and helpfulness of a great society
member
, in order to spread this
message.Submitted by walaa200913 on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and presents your opinion. However, it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss. This would help to give a more structured overview of your essay.
task achievement
You have covered both views and provided an opinion, fulfilling the task requirement. To achieve a higher score, ensure that you provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is generally good, but some areas are slightly unclear due to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Make sure your points are linked logically to create a smooth flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your points and restates your opinion. Still, it could be enhanced by briefly indicating the broader implications or providing a final thought on the subject.
task achievement
Some of your sentences are worded awkwardly or lack clarity. Make sure to provide clear and comprehensible ideas by revising your sentence structure and using more precise language.
task achievement
You discussed both views as required by the task and gave your own opinion. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which contribute to the overall structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively restates your opinion and summarizes the main points discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.