IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the amount of electricity used.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the amount of electricity used.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #amount #electricity #summarise #features #comparisons
The chart illustrates the demand for
electricity
 on a
daily-basis
Correct your spelling
daily basis
show examples
 and
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 two
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 seasons and the pie chart provides details about how
electricity
 is being consumed.
Accoording
Correct your spelling
According
 to the chart the daily need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
electricity
 on a regular
winter
 day is about double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 on a typical
summer
 day with the demand reaching
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 50000
units
 of
electricity
 on a
winter
 day but only about 20000
units
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
summer
. In
winter
 the demand
flacutates
Correct your spelling
fluctuates
fluctuate
 heavily and the margin between its minimum and its peak is about a staggering 20000
units
 in the
summer
,
however
 , it
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 or less the same with the gap between the
minimium
Correct your spelling
minimum
 and maximum
boardering
Correct your spelling
bordering
 on only 5000
units
. Onto the
consumptaion
Correct your spelling
consumption
part
Add a comma
part,
show examples
 we can gather that more than half of the
electricity
 is being used
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
heating
Add an article
the heating
a heating
show examples
 sector with a massive 52.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which is more than all other sectors combined.Among other sectors
overns
Correct your spelling
ovens
governs
, kettles and washing machines are the second most demanding of
electricity
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stands
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at 17.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Following it are lighting and vacuum cleaners that share the same
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of all the
electricity
 used with both
cosuming
Correct your spelling
consuming
 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
 , it is apparent that the
consumptaion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
electricity
 in
winter
 is considerably more than in
summer
 which does
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 sense considering most of
electricity
Add an article
the electricity
show examples
 is being used to heat up the rooms and water.
Submitted by parsaj1381 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, winter, summer, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity consumption
  • Kilowatt-hours (kWh)
  • Energy demand
  • Power grid
  • Renewable energy sources
  • Non-renewable energy sources
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Conservation efforts
  • Industrial sector
  • Residential sector
  • Commercial sector
  • Fluctuation
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Efficiency improvements
  • Seasonal variation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: