Due to the rapid development and expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities.
It is being argued that shutdown of the local local communities , superstore
business
will become the reason Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
of
the deathChange preposition
for
Change preposition
of
due to
the largely
development of supermarkets in some Change the adverb
large
nation
.I totally disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
nations
this
statement as supermarkets provides
several benefits Change the verb form
provide
Such
as cheaper products
and more convenient
for Replace the word
convenience
public
.
Small Add an article
the public
organisation
are not capable of providing Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
as
cheaper Change preposition
apply
product
relative to superstores. Fix the agreement mistake
products
For instance
, superstores like ,
Remove the comma
apply
walmart
,Change the capitalization
Walmart
costco
, Change the capitalization
Costco
Correct word choice
and freshco
freshco
Correct your spelling
fresco
fresh
FreshCo
provides
discounted Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
products
on weekly
basis. The reason behind Correct article usage
a weekly
this
, the superstore has their
own big storage warehouses so they buy Correct pronoun usage
its
products
from across the world at whole sale
prices which makesCorrect your spelling
wholesale
Correct article usage
the
to
sell the Fix the infinitive
apply
product
at lower prices. Fix the agreement mistake
products
Due to
the lack of the
these facilities small Remove the article
apply
business
can not beat the price of big stores.
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
In addition
, having a big store also
provides employment to rural areas as well . For example
, these days due to
the growing papulation
in Correct your spelling
population
Correct article usage
the center
center
of cities which makes Change the spelling
centre
expensive
to Correct pronoun usage
it expensive
built
stores in side Wrong verb form
build
tge
cities.Correct your spelling
the
Thus
, these days more and more nee
stores are Correct your spelling
new
builting
Correct your spelling
built
at
the countrysides which create more opportunities for locals to get Change preposition
in
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
especially
for those who Add the comma(s)
, especially
lives
Change the verb form
live
at
rural areas. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, having a facilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
facilities
a facility
such
as parking, rest area, toilets and different products
from
one place makes shopping kind of fun and more efficient.
Change preposition
in
To conclude
, development
of the superstores makes life more affordable and much Correct article usage
the development
convenient
for Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
public
.Add an article
the public
However
, the reason of
local business Change preposition
for
shutdown
is the price which is unbeatable Fix the agreement mistake
shutdowns
by
Change preposition
apply
them
.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by amarbatth367 on
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task achievement
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, words like 'shutdown,' 'largely development,' 'provides,' and 'costco' need correction to improve readability.
task achievement
Extend your explanations and examples to make your arguments stronger and more convincing. Currently, some points are underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking phrases (e.g., therefore, thus, consequently) to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, making the overall structure effective.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance in the introduction, which is maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and contribute to the argument, such as the lower prices in supermarkets and employment opportunities in rural areas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?