Some students found some subjects such as mathematics, philosophy are difficult, so these subjects should be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Academic
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The academic
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journey is essential for every
student
that
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which
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raise
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raises
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a
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the
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question
which
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of which
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subjects
a should
student
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
, some groups of people believe
subjects
such
as mathematics and philosophy are difficult and should not be compulsory.
Although
I strongly
disgree
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disagree
with
this
statement,
this
essay will explore the reasons behind these beliefs with specific examples.
To begin
with, logically,
student
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students
show examples
should
persue
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pursue
the field that
interest
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interests
show examples
them the most, which
initiate
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initiates
show examples
the thought of opting
difficult
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for difficult
show examples
subject
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subjects
show examples
in the curriculum as proponents claim.
For instance
, recent
phychological
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psychological
studies conducted in
the
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apply
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Harvard
education
reveals
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reveal
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that every
student
have
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has
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some
extra ordinary
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extraordinary
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talent and
student
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students
show examples
should focus more on
distuingishing
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distinguishing
that talent. Since
,
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apply
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not every
student
can achieve their best in
subject
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subjects
show examples
such
as mathematics and
philosophical
Replace the word
philosophy
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. Optional
subjects
provides
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provide
show examples
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an oppotunity
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oppotunity
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opportunity
to enhance their motivation and performance in
subjects
catered to diverse
student
's
interest
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interests
show examples
and strengths.
Additionally
, finding their interest in childhood is hard
that
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which
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significantly increases with additional mental
stress
from hard
subjects
, options in choosing
subject
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subjects
show examples
can reduce
stress
.
Furthermore
, the
education
curriculum is set to provide a basic
education
in
the
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apply
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primary
secondary
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and secondary
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education
which is crucial for
a
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the
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holistic development of students.
For instance
, putting things into real-life perspective, if
student
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students
show examples
be
Wrong verb form
are
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able to remove compulsory status, it might lead to gaps in essential knowledge that could disadvantage students in
highter
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higher
education
and professional environments.
Moreover
, Making
difficut
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difficult
subjects
optional could widen
education
inequalities.
student
from disadvantaged backgrounds might opt out of challenging
subject
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subjects
show examples
due to
lack
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a lack
show examples
of support
and
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apply
show examples
potentially limiting their future opportunities. In conclusion, considering the advantages of easing by opting the difficult
subjects
can support many
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
in preventing mental
stress
,
however
, the numerous
disadvanges
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disadvantages
of
such
idea
Correct article usage
an idea
show examples
could result in
overall
growth of students. I believe that a balanced approach is needed to guide
student
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students
show examples
, rather than relieving
stress
these guides can support
student
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students
show examples
in gaining the
appropraite
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appropriate
strength required to qualify
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for these
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these
Change the determiner
this education
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education
and gain
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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benefits in their professional journey.
Submitted by nick on

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coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent logical flow between paragraphs to ensure smoother transitions and better cohesion.
task response
You have provided a balanced view and discussed both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and tie your arguments together well.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • diverse interests
  • strengths
  • flexibility
  • enhance motivation
  • logical reasoning
  • problem-solving skills
  • critical thinking
  • ethical reasoning
  • stress reduction
  • mental health
  • supportive environment
  • balanced education
  • holistic development
  • well-rounded knowledge
  • educational inequalities
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • comprehensive education
  • future opportunities
  • advanced studies
  • foundational
  • career choices
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