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Band 4.5

The plans below shows a harbour in 2000 and how its looks today.

#plans #harbour
The diagram illustrates changes in the Porth Harbour
plan
 in 2000 and how it looks now.
Overall
, some new developments were added and a few
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 things were removed as per details from the
plan
. In 2000, Porth Harbour comprised a castle located at the southeast of the
plan
 which was disused, there was
also
 a private beach used by the hotel, and a lifeboat close to the cafes and shops.
In addition
, there were
also
 car parks and fishing boats at the southwest corner of the
plan
.
Furthermore
, the
plan
also
 showed a marina with private yachts, a carpark, and toilets at the northwest corner.
While
, at the northern side of the
plan
 contains a public beach, passenger and a dock. Today, some changes have been made
due to
 the renovation of the harbour. The castle which was disused has been replaced by a hotel,
while
 the marina private yachts on the northwest side were swapped to the southwest corner and the fishing boats were moved to the north-west, there was
also
 an addition of cafes and shops near the lifeboat building.
Moreover
, the dock was
also
 expanded with new boats added.
Submitted by igiedaniel07 on

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introduction conclusion
Include a clearer conclusion to summarize the main points discussed in the essay.
logical structure
Improve the transitions between different points to enhance the flow of the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main changes between the 2000 plan and today's layout are described clearly.
supported main points
Good use of relevant details from the diagrams to support main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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