IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

#technology #people #viewpoints
Modern technology has become a matter of debate for a few
a few
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
years all over the world. Some people believe that modern technology has proved very useful
to bring
Change preposition
in bringing
show examples
 people closer,
whereas
 others admit that individuals have become separated from each other
due to
 the onset of new
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
.
This
 essay will discuss both the viewers in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,
Submitted by kknavdeep2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that you provide a balanced discussion by clearly defining both viewpoints and mentioning specific examples or evidence to support each side. The introduction should give a brief overview of the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and make sure that each idea logically follows from the previous one.
supported main points
Develop your points further by elaborating on them with specific details or anecdotes. This will make your argument more compelling and comprehensive.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction does a good job of setting the stage for the discussion by stating both viewpoints.
clear comprehensive ideas
The language used is clear, and the essay is easy to read and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: