A persons worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor,kindness and trust, longer seem important. To what extent do you agreee or disagree with this option ?
The way
people
are being evaluated has been diiferent
than it was before as their net worth and social class are valued more than their behavioural aspects. Correct your spelling
different
This
essay will agree with the statement because a person seek
economic security for their life, and the perception of Change the verb form
seeks
people
can be manipiulated
with Correct your spelling
manipulated
money
.
Despite the fact that families teach their children about moral
and values, it is undeniable that they will never fail to mention the power of Fix the agreement mistake
morals
money
. Children are advised to reach the
position where they can earn enough Correct article usage
a
welath
in Correct your spelling
wealth
future
, before telling
that they should not forget their land and ethics. Verb problem
saying
For example
, every teacher does not ask student
about what their principle and ethics of life Fix the agreement mistake
students
is
, but they will surely ask them about what they want to be in Correct subject-verb agreement
are
future
.
Nevertheless
one can always follow the socital
norms of being better Correct your spelling
social
societal
that
Correct word choice
than
other
, in terms of good Fix the agreement mistake
others
habit
, there is always a chance that in Fix the agreement mistake
habits
future
person
can leave that away for their success. When they feel that only Correct article usage
a person
money
can buy them happiness, they will never re-think about their conditions. For example
, in India, there are certain culture
and values they follow, that will not allow a person to go to the glamour industry. But when Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
people
realise that this
industry brings them a lot of money
and position, they will never think twice before taking
decisions.
Correct your spelling
making
I
conclusion, despite the fact that culture and Correct your spelling
In
habbits
are essential Correct your spelling
habits
factor
, Change the noun form
factors
people
will be evaluated according to
their bank balance and their net worth as money
gives people
future
security and their desired status.Submitted by sarumanandhar36 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, the introduction could be strengthened by defining more clearly whether you agree or disagree and why. Try to make your stance crystal clear.
logical structure
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly hinder the fluency of your essay. For example, 'diiferent' should be 'different' and 'manipiulated' should be 'manipulated'. Proofreading carefully and using grammar-check tools can help correct these issues.
supported main points
While you provide relevant examples, consider integrating them more seamlessly into your arguments to better support and illustrate your points. For instance, explain more clearly how examples relate to modern societal values.
logical structure
You have a clear and logical structure in your essay with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
complete response
Your essay covers both sides of the discussion to a certain extent, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided are relevant. For example, the discussion on Indian culture adds a context-specific layer to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!