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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram depicts the process of natural honey production by bees in seven distinct stages.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is evident that the cycle begins with the construction of hives
and
Correct word choice
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It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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collecting pollens from flowers and fetching them back into their hives are the next stages.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, drying honeycombs, before honey is ultimately prepared to consume is the pre-
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 part of the process. On closer examination
at
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the picture, building of bee's houses is the first step. The honey- producing cycle continues through the stages of obtaining the sweetest hidden nectar by
apis
Correct your spelling
APIs

If you don’t want apis to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, choosing more appropriate blooms. Afterwards,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 nectar is carefully transported back to the cells, before apis begin to fan speedily in order to get rid of the extra liquids in the extraction . Once the moisture is evaporated entirely, honeycombs become ready with the perfect structure of bee nectar, which allows humans to harvest bee nests and refine the extracted honey thoroughly. In succession,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ready sweet treat is available to be delivered to the shelves of markets and be served during
the
Correct article usage
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It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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meal time in all
the
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It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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parts of the world.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Metamorphosis
  • Nectar
  • Foraging
  • Pollination
  • Worker bees
  • House bees
  • Honey stomach
  • Honeycomb cells
  • Beeswax
  • Evaporation
  • Hexagon-shaped
  • Simple sugars
  • Enzymes
  • Capping
  • Preserve
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