Some people believe that modern games do not develop skill in children.However traditional games developed skills in childhood.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people opine that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the development of skills and
coginitive
Correct your spelling
cognitive
ability during childhood is
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
of traditional
games
rather than modern
games
. I , partially agree with
this
as balance is the the key to everything.
To begin
with, traditional
games
substantially
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
show examples
the physical growth of a
child
.
Also
,
abundance
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an abundance
the abundance
show examples
of
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not available to play traditional
games
, so it promotes innovation and boosts creativity. Children who
plays
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play
show examples
traditional
games
are full of agility and speed which directly leads to
active
Add an article
an active
show examples
and sharp mind.
Moreover
, traditional
games
also
helps
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help
show examples
to preserve the heritage and cultural
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
.
This
directly makes the link , coordination and interaction between peers.
Conversely
, modern
games
introduces
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introduce
show examples
a
child
with
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to
show examples
technology.
Such
games
helps
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help
show examples
to inculcate the skills like
problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
and task management.
Thus
,
this
preapares
Correct your spelling
prepares
a
child
to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tech-savvy and prepares them for
digital
Correct article usage
a digital
show examples
future. By playing modern
games
children nowadays
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
technological skills which eventually help them in their studies and future. In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
era where technology has revolutionised our world, being familiar with the technology is need of an hour.
Additionally
, modern
games
helps
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help
show examples
a
child
for catering
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to cater
show examples
moral
Change preposition
to moral
show examples
reasoning.
To conclude
, considerable growth aspects like physical, analytical and intellectual can be attained by balancing both
tradtional
Correct your spelling
traditional
and modern
games
. Balance between screen time and physical activity is something that can make a
child
all-rounder and versatile.
Submitted by simranjit2598 on

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic and your stance clearly. To improve, specify what elements of traditional games and modern games you are discussing. Consider adding a brief outline of your main points.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and relevant; however, try to develop them more thoroughly. Provide specific examples for both traditional and modern games to support your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between ideas are mostly logical, but some sentences and paragraphs could be better connected to enhance the overall flow. Use more linking phrases to strengthen coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments. To improve, ensure it synthesizes the points more cohesively, reinforcing your balanced view of both traditional and modern games.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, acknowledging the benefits of both traditional and modern games.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for the essay, making your main points easily identifiable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical coordination
  • Strategy formulation
  • Preserving heritage
  • Technological proficiency
  • Screen time
  • Inclusivity
  • Social interaction
  • Creative improvisation
  • Complex narratives
  • Moral reasoning
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