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Band 6.5

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.
#line #visits #uk #bar #countries #residents
The line graph compares
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
tourists
 who
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 and from the
UK
 amount over a period of 20 years, and the bar chart gives information about the popular destinations of
UK
residents
 in 1999.
According to
 the bar chart in
1999
Add a comma
1999,
show examples
 the
UK
 was mostly visited by France and Spain among 3 other top
countries
.
Whereas
, the line graph shows that
number
 of the
UK
residents
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
show examples
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 other
countries
 is more than the
number
 of visits to the
UK
 by overseas
residents
.
It is clear that
 in 1999 the
UK
residents
Change noun form
resident's
residents'
show examples
 favourite tourist destinations were France and Spain by far compared to the USA, Greece and Turkey.To be precise,12 million
UK
tourists
 visited France and
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
8
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 did the same with Spain.
Whereas
, approximately 3 to 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 visited
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 3
countries
. It is obvious that the
number
 of
tourists
 from the
UK
 overtook the
number
 of visitors to the
UK
 from other
countries
 over a full period. To be fair, in 1979 the statistics of those two groups were not that different,there was almost
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
or 3 million gap and lasted until 1986.Since 1986
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
tourists
 from the
UK
 started gradually increasing,
however
,even the opposite group of people did the same,they were doing with a small change in
number
, and in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 the gap between the two categories was 24 million people.
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tourists, uk, residents, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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