Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the context of corporative social
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility

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, the
porposal
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proposal

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of providing
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and social
facilities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by large
companies
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has garnered attention. I firmly believe ,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

while
Correct word choice
that while

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations

It seems that corporation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should invest
for
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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public
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being

It seems that well being is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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, it should not be
obligation
Add an article
an obligation
the obligation

The noun phrase obligation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Primerly
Correct your spelling
Primarily

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, there is no doubt that investing in
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

facilities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can profoundly impact
on
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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healthier
Add an article
a healthier

The noun phrase healthier lifestyle seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles

It seems that lifestyle may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and social
cohesive
Replace the word
cohesion

The word cohesive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of local communities.
By providing
Change preposition
Providing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers

It seems that center may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, gym equipment, social hub,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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encourges
Correct your spelling
encourages

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public
Correct article usage
the public

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

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exercise which would
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial

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for them as more and more people fit it
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces

It seems that the verb reduce does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the costs of medical.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, social clubs serve as venues for social interaction which would enhance
sense
Add an article
the sense
a sense

The noun phrase sense seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of community and belonging of diverse
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups

It seems that group may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of people.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, by providing these
facilities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
company's
Correct article usage
the company's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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image would
be bolster
Change the verb form
be bolstered

It appears that the form of the verb bolster does not work with be in this sentence.

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and bring brand
royality
Correct your spelling
loyalty
royalty

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among
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is a good practice
donating
Change the verb form
to donate

Donating doesn’t seem to work here.

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funds for public
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being

It seems that well being is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it should not
mandatory
Add a missing verb
be mandatory

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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for
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as their first
priorties
Correct your spelling
priorities
priority

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should be stakeholders, including shareholders and employees.
Campanies
Correct your spelling
Companies

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should not be detracted
the
Change preposition
from the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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core objectives.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is beneficial for both
public
Correct article usage
the public

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and
company
Correct article usage
the company

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to invest money
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

facilities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as it
makes
Verb problem
creates

There may be a verb use issue here.

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good
Correct article usage
a good

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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reputation image
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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company
Add an article
the company
a company

The noun phrase company seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and healthier life for
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
but
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not
compromised
Change the verb form
compromise

The verb compromised after the modal verb should does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
their
Correct your spelling
priorities
Correct your spelling
priorities

If you don’t want priorties to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

priorties
Correct your spelling
priorities

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grammar
Work on reducing grammatical and typographical errors to improve readability and professionalism. For example, correct 'porposal' to 'proposal' and 'primerly' to 'primarily.'
ideas
Introduce more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
structure
Improve transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow. For instance, use phrases like 'Additionally,' or 'On the other hand,' to link ideas more clearly.
task response
The essay addresses the topic effectively by discussing both the benefits and potential downsides of companies providing exercise facilities.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a balanced view on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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