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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The free movement of of goods Across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argues that it is necessary for economic growth, whilst others claim that it damage local industries. Discuss with both views and gove your opinion.

#movement #goods #borders #people #growth #whilst #damage #industries #gove
People have different views as to whether the free trade of
products
 is important to economic development. In my perspective, despite some people declaring that it adversely affects local businesses, I firmly believe that it brings about many more benefits. On the one hand, there are three aspects of why the free movement of
products
 can cause negative impacts to minor industries. One of the major is that many local stores do not have the ability to compete with foreign goods in terms of finances and quality.
Moreover
, the influx of foreign
products
 undermines local
products
, leading to business closures. Another point to be considered is cultural identity. To illustrate, if a developing country
such
 as Thailand imports several of China's goods without appropriate regulations,
then
 it is likely that the number of
products
 from China will overwhelm that of Thailand, as is happening today.
On the other hand
, it is commonly believed by other individuals that the free movement of
products
 definitely leads to various advantages including economic enhancement. The first contributing factor is that it creates more job opportunities, which is indispensable to decreasing inequality and criminal activities in society.
Furthermore
, consumers will gain benefits from
this
 approach.
Instead
 of using only
products
 from their community, allowing free trade would provide more options for them to choose what is best for them.
Lastly
, it promotes innovation since the
products
 from the exported country will be shared with the destinated countries, leading to more research and development of those goods. In conclusion,
although
 there are a variety drawbacks of the free trade, I am convinced that it leads to more advantages for society.
Submitted by pandin21 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, make sure to provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points more effectively, especially in the first body paragraph.
task achievement
The task response is strong overall, but try to incorporate more specific, tangible examples to back your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and provide concrete evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both very clear and effectively frame the essay’s argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a balanced discussion before presenting your opinion, which strengthens the entire response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, making it easy to follow your arguments and main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • comparative advantage
  • economic growth
  • global markets
  • job creation
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer benefits
  • competition
  • innovation
  • technology transfer
  • international markets
  • local industries
  • business closures
  • job losses
  • cultural identity
  • consumer preferences
  • economic dependence
  • international supply chains
  • environmental impact
  • carbon emissions
  • resource depletion
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