Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid

There is no doubt these days that there are two types of

countries

first

one

is a strong country and second is poor

one

, but the question is poor

countries

really need financial aid only? in

this

essay, we will discuss

this

problem and suggest a solution and who I agree or disagree with.

moreover

, poor

countries

have a lot of issues.

firstly

, if we look carefully the problem is not only money , the real problem is that people do not want to improve the future. some people do not have enough education even if how

have

Add the particle

to have

show examples

a good

one

travels

Correct subject-verb agreement

travel

show examples

to another country to search for opportunities, the real reason for

this

is poor country don't

cares

Change the verb form

care

show examples

about them. in other ways, strong

countries

should support them to develop a new education system and improve the health fields at least to create a better generation in the future , but unhappily some

countries

are

usinguse

Correct your spelling

using use

using

this

poor

one

to do research and

science

Replace the word

scientific

show examples

experiment

Fix the agreement mistake

experiments

show examples

on them rather than help and

this

is humorous at all. In conclusion,

countries

that really want to help must focus on the people more than only

donate

Wrong verb form

donating

show examples

financial aid to

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

. because they use it in the wrong way and that happens sometimes,

also

it is crucial to make new rules that prevent anyone how

to try

Change preposition

from trying

show examples

to use these poor

countries

to use them and I'm sure

this

is not easy to do whatever they have done to help.

Submitted by salahsadgg1 on Thu Aug 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and attempts to provide a response. However, the ideas are somewhat fragmented, and the main arguments could be more clearly developed. To improve task response, ensure that each paragraph clearly supports a specific point related to the topic, and provide more detailed explanations and examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from a clearer and more logical structure. Some ideas are repeated or not fully developed, making it hard to follow the argument. To improve coherence and cohesion, use clear topic sentences, and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Also, transitional phrases can help in making the argument more cohesive.

structure

The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, setting the context and summarizing the argument.

task achievement

The writer attempts to provide a balanced argument, highlighting issues beyond financial aid and suggesting solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Technology has developed very fast over the past 100 years. However, some people think that technological progress has brought negative effects on the humanity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Technology has been developing at a very fast pace over the last ten decades. Nevertheless, there are some people who think that technological progress has brought negative effects on the humanity. I completely agree that technology has had adverse effects on human mankind.
6.5
band
Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
While opponents contend that the emphasis should instead be on courses that are required for schooling, it is generally accepted that allowing pupils to learn a foreign language as soon as possible is crucial. Regarding the latter viewpoint, I wholeheartedly agree with it because going to school already puts a lot of strain on students' time and skills.
5.5
band
In many countries today, women have full-time jobs. Therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Some people believe that women are solely responsible for running the house chores, and thus, the term "housewife" became famous in the early 1800s century in India. However, the other side of the people believe that women and men are both responsible for housework and if the home job is segregated well is a good sign of equality amongst both the genders. I here believe the latter.
4
band
propaganda poster of isis Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the phenomenon.
This poster, in my opinion, was considerate enough to influent both two groups of audiences that ISIS aims at. Firstly, speaking of the audience who is ardent to join ISIS this poster is truly attractive. This poster occasions reflection upon the bravery of fighters of the Islamic state of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) violated the US, the most powerful country in the world, by putting a bomb on the US. The next audiences who wanted to be considering in this concerne is the western nation; this poster is reckoned to be un of the most dangerous literature that ISIS has created so far, because it could terrify the civilians of the western country. Additionally it is not just this poster, in which ISIS has created many more of this movie and photos. This content could terrify citizens of US because the possiblity of happening another disaster similar to 9/11.
<4
band
Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and measures could be taken to solve it?
In our contemporary world extremely reduced and statistic of people without home showcased that 30% without home, year by year numbers of increase. There have two main reasons, it is unemployment and heritage less. These days have a number of people unemployment and whom do not pay abundance without home. If start from the beginning people who did not study it enough at school, in the future select low-paying job. In the result it leads homelessness. After then in the future their children lives without heritage. Otherwise, it is all connected. In the result, I consider that every parent should think about future generation, when one's upbringing a youth you ought to do everything for the sake of this child. Into a number of countries have system than children born parents open bank account on the name child. Would be better if government include in the family code a number of articles about opening a bank account for a child from birth. Due to the fact it makes their life easier an...

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Technology has developed very fast over the past 100 years. However, some people think that technological progress has brought negative effects on the humanity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In many countries today, women have full-time jobs. Therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

propaganda poster of isis Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the phenomenon.

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and measures could be taken to solve it?