IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart gives information concerning and gives a helicopter view on the percentage of visitors who came to the UK
Also
Linking Words
, indicates three different types
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 visiting holiday, business and visit friends or relatives. Generally speaking, we can see that the
propurtion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of people who visited the UK for
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
 reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high of 9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 rate from the year 1999.
In addition
Linking Words
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 business income
flactured
Correct your spelling
fractured
fluctuated
 and
being
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 unstabilized over the period.
Next,
Linking Words
the rate of mankind who visited for
Correct your spelling
friends
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
 or relatives were being approximately increased over the years till the year 2004
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
begening
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
1989
Add a comma
1989,
show examples
 the visiting
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
business working
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 plunged to the number of 6 million .
However
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,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 following years it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose to a huge figure
Then
Linking Words
, it dropped dramatically
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the number of 6 million again .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is clear to say that people who visited friends or relatives
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
peaked at 5 million figure .

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • trend
  • fluctuations
  • statistics
  • year-on-year comparison
  • peak periods
  • holidaymakers
  • business trips
  • educational tourism
  • significant increase/decrease
  • data interpretation
  • exponential growth
  • steady decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cultural events
  • tourist influx
  • graph analysis
  • quantitative change
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