El Nino is the name of a warm ocean current that affects weather patterns on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. The diagrams compare normal conditions in the Pacific with El Nino conditions.

El Nino is the name of a warm ocean current that affects weather patterns on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. The diagrams compare normal conditions in the Pacific with El Nino conditions.
The diagrams depict the
comparition
Correct your spelling
comparison
of normal and
El
Nino
conditions, observed in the Pacific. The recent warm
ocean
in the Pacific
Ocean
that impacts weather patterns on both sides is called
El
Nino
.
Overall
, the
El
Nino
condition
is impacting the seasons in
Australia
and
Peru
,
as well as
affects
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farm and sea production.
According to
the diagram, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normal circumstances, the weak
winds
go to
West
Correct article usage
the West
show examples
Pacific,
while
the strong
winds
go to the
ocean
and reverse to
East
Correct article usage
the East
show examples
Pacific, pushing the the warm
water
from the storm clouds rain back
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
ocean
in the West Pacific.
Additionally
,
this
condition
impacts the coastal area to have higher cool
water
and rich nutrients.
This
circumstance affects the weather conditions in
Australia
and
Peru
, where
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australia
has a rainy season
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
resulting
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
higher agricultural products.
Likewise
Add a comma
Likewise,
show examples
Australia
,
Peru
Correct word choice
and Peru
show examples
also
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
sunny days that
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
a high number of fishing.
In contrast
with
El
Nino
condition
, where the
winds
are
reverse
Wrong verb form
reversed
show examples
. Strong
winds
happen in the West Pacific,
whereas
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
weak
winds
are in the East Pacific.
This
condition
resulting the warm
water
from storm clouds
rain
Correct word choice
and rain
show examples
go to the East Pacific, so there is no cool
water
and low nutrients in the coastal areas.
Following
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
conditions.
Australia
has sunny
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
and
Peru
has
rainy
Add an article
a rainy
show examples
season,
then
the number of farm and sea products
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased.
Submitted by pratiwi.fadhilah11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words el, nino, ocean, condition, australia, peru, winds, water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: