Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but put are in nurse homes or care homes. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

#people #families #nurse #homes #care #trend

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is sending older parents to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

old age

home

Use synonyms

, rather than looking after them at their own place.

This

Linking Words

eassy

Correct your spelling

essay

easy

will explain that there are many advantages of

this

Linking Words

trend, including

busy

Correct article usage

the busy

show examples

work schedule of family members, and the availability of advanced medical

support

Use synonyms

for them. Nowadays, people have

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

busy work routine that they rarely spend time at their residency with their family. Staying

home

Use synonyms

alone without anyone to talk,

and

Change preposition

to and

show examples

noone

Correct your spelling

no one

to look after them is more risky for aged people. Sending them to nursing

Use synonyms

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

will provide them with

some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

company of similar age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

, and

also

Linking Words

qualified workers to look after them, eliminating the various risks. Let's take Australian aged care services,

for instance

Linking Words

, which contain

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

qulified

Correct your spelling

qualified

registered nurses and care workers, who came to

sevice

Correct your spelling

service

after many years of studying. Elderly men and women can receive immediate

support

Use synonyms

in case of an emergency at

elderely

Correct your spelling

elderly

Use synonyms

home

Replace the word

homes

show examples

as there will be someone 24 hours, who can monitor their wellbeing. Those individuals

willl

Correct your spelling

will

lack

this

Linking Words

service at

home

Use synonyms

as everyone will be busy with their own office

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and studies. To exemplify, in

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

, every

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

home

Use synonyms

will be either employed or in their schools and universities, making them busy throughout the day. That trend will leave aged individuals at

home

Use synonyms

alone without any

support

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, admitting older parents to the nursing

home

Use synonyms

has more

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

for them because it will give them peer

support

Use synonyms

and help

thoughout

Correct your spelling

throughout

the day, and they receive medical assistance instantly when needed.

Submitted by sarumanandhar36 on Fri Aug 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Review grammar and spelling errors such as 'eassy', 'noone', and 'qulified'.

style

Improve sentence structures to avoid run-on sentences and ensure clarity. For instance, the sentence beginning with 'Staying home alone... risks.' can be broken down for better readability.

content

Try to expand some points with a bit more detail to give a more comprehensive overview.

content

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and giving examples clearly.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize the main points well.

evidence

Using specific examples like those from Australia and the UK adds validity to the points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
A great number of meal and beverage products include a great level of sugar and it leads to plenty of medical issues. Despite this fact, I am inclined to believe that an increase in sugar's cost would conflict with humans' rights because they have to pay more than its worth and it is redundant.
5.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is commonly known that science is helpful in improving human life in various fields. The development of technologies not only brings people convenience but also helps people live more effectively in a number of situations, such as working and traveling to their lives. On the other hand, the development of technologies also influences adverse aspects such as war and environmental pollution. Some people assert that the most imperative aim of science should be to enhance human being's life. I support that opinion. I will introduce some reasons why I think that.
6
band
*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
Nowadays we are living in the era of the technology, computers become a crucial part in every field hence, some people believe it is a nessceray tool we can't dispense without it. Other believe it has a negative impact on the society, in this essay I shall elaborate the different points of view.
4
band
Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems.
The increasing number of the population, especially in big cities is the cause of many disasters. Overproduction, overconsuming, pollution, are just some problems that the society of our times can not solve. Of course, there are solutions for every problem, for example people should protect natural and artificial resources as much as possible.
5.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message
People often talk about whether it's a good idea to tell kids they can achieve anything through hard work. In this essay, I'll talk about the good and not-so-good parts of giving kids this message.

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but put are in nurse homes or care homes. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.