Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but put are in nurse homes or care homes. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

#people #families #nurse #homes #care #trend

One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is sending older parents to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

old age

home

, rather than looking after them at their own place.

This

eassy

Correct your spelling

essay

easy

will explain that there are many advantages of

this

trend, including

busy

Correct article usage

the busy

show examples

work schedule of family members, and the availability of advanced medical

support

for them. Nowadays, people have

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

busy work routine that they rarely spend time at their residency with their family. Staying

home

alone without anyone to talk,

and

Change preposition

to and

show examples

noone

Correct your spelling

no one

to look after them is more risky for aged people. Sending them to nursing

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

will provide them with

some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

company of similar age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

, and

also

qualified workers to look after them, eliminating the various risks. Let's take Australian aged care services,

for instance

, which contain

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

qulified

Correct your spelling

qualified

registered nurses and care workers, who came to

sevice

Correct your spelling

service

after many years of studying. Elderly men and women can receive immediate

support

in case of an emergency at

elderely

Correct your spelling

elderly

home

Replace the word

homes

show examples

as there will be someone 24 hours, who can monitor their wellbeing. Those individuals

willl

Correct your spelling

will

lack

this

service at

home

as everyone will be busy with their own office

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and studies. To exemplify, in

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

, every

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

home

will be either employed or in their schools and universities, making them busy throughout the day. That trend will leave aged individuals at

home

alone without any

support

. In conclusion, admitting older parents to the nursing

home

has more

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

for them because it will give them peer

support

and help

thoughout

Correct your spelling

throughout

the day, and they receive medical assistance instantly when needed.

Submitted by sarumanandhar36 on Fri Aug 16 2024

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grammar

Review grammar and spelling errors such as 'eassy', 'noone', and 'qulified'.

style

Improve sentence structures to avoid run-on sentences and ensure clarity. For instance, the sentence beginning with 'Staying home alone... risks.' can be broken down for better readability.

content

Try to expand some points with a bit more detail to give a more comprehensive overview.

content

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and giving examples clearly.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize the main points well.

evidence

Using specific examples like those from Australia and the UK adds validity to the points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but put are in nurse homes or care homes. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

Fully explain your ideas

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Many people prefer to stay the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change the type of work. Discuss both sides and state your own opinion.

Due to evelopment and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countires, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons for this? How to change their views？

Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty. But some other argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.