Some young people are leaving the country side to lives in cities and towns,leaving only old people in the country side. What problems are caused by this issue. What can be done to solve this issue
One of the conspicuous trends of today's society is youngsters leaving their elderly parents in
villages
and moving to urban area
in search of better education and employment Fix the agreement mistake
areas
opportunities
. This
culture will create problems like reduced manpower in the country sides
and increasing Correct your spelling
countryside
air
pollution
in cities
. This
eaasy
will provide some solutions to eliminate Correct your spelling
essay
this
issue like creating opportunities
in rural area
and providing incentives for the people who choose to work for their respective Fix the agreement mistake
areas
villages
.
In the process of migrating to urban cities
, rural villages
are lacking
skilled manpower, who could have been involved in agriculture, and Wrong verb form
lacked
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
country's
growth in terms of exporting. Correct article usage
the country's
Similarly
, when all the people are moving to cities
there are more carbon emissions by
the excessive use of Change preposition
due to
the
private vehicle, which directly add up Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
air
pollution
. Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal, for instance
, is welcoming people from all over the country
, and now is one of the top ten cities
, with excessive air
pollution
.
There are some initiations
that can be taken by the state to reduce Replace the word
initiatives
this
problem. Firstly
, equal distribution of services and facilities like universities, hospitals, and employment opportunities
, need to be provided in the rural areas. Secondly
, the country
needs to announce some good incentives for the
skilled manpower to work in rural areas. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, Western Australia has recently announced $20,000 for each nurses
on their arrival to Change to a singular noun
nurse
fulfill
their quota.
In conclusion, there are lack of skilled Change the spelling
fulfil
worker
in Fix the agreement mistake
workers
villages
and more air
pollution
in city areas, as a result
of migration. This
problem can be managed by providing more opportunities
in the villages
and added
offers for Wrong verb form
adding
the
skilled professionals.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
Your essay provides a good explanation of the problems caused by migration to cities and towns as well as offering potential solutions. However, to improve your score, consider developing your ideas further and making sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to the task response. For instance, you mentioned air pollution but could have expanded more on its consequences and link them back to the migration issue more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between some paragraphs could be smoother, and sentences could flow more naturally. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively outlines the main problems and potential solutions related to the topic, giving the reader a clear understanding of what to expect in the essay.
task achievement
You used relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the case of Kathmandu and Western Australia, which add credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...