In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and expeiences.

Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
users
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
films, series and other entertainment platforms. Nowadays, people prefer to enjoy movies
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their tablets as they do not have much time
for going
Change preposition
to go
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
,
ott
Correct your spelling
OTT
show examples
platforms are available which provide flexibility,
comfort
Correct word choice
and comfort
show examples
and one can enjoy whenever they want to watch.
For instance
,
in covid-19
Correct your spelling
during the COVID-19
lokdown
Correct your spelling
lockdown
, everyone
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enjoyed movies in there on
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
. Since
then
,
teas
Change the noun form
tea
show examples
trends
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
going
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
viral and
prioritise
Wrong verb form
prioritised
show examples
more as compared to the
cinema
.
Lastly
, watching
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a laptop for TV 212
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
compared to the
cinema
. Correct grammar
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Try to refine the introduction and conclusion to make the structure more clear. A clear introduction and conclusion help to frame your argument effectively.
relevant specific examples
Add more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
supported main points
The essay provides relevant points about the convenience and flexibility of modern entertainment platforms.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • socio-economic factors
  • deterrence
  • integration
  • prevention
  • ethical development
  • root causes
  • moral values
  • long-term approach
  • human rights perspective
  • rehabilitation goals
  • academic learning
  • economic benefits
  • empathy
  • belonging
  • dignity
  • short-term solution
  • crime reduction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: