IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Air
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 transport is ever-increasingly utilized to
export
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fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 to other
countries
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 where they do not grow and are out of season. The benefits of
this
Linking Words
 are
nations
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 can consume those
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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, which they cannot grow, and
nations
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 who
export
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 those
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 earn foreign currencies. The drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 are
exported
Correct word choice
that exported
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fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 sometimes lose their nutrient values because of long time preservation and exportation leads to
air
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pollution
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.
Nations
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 can taste and meet their
nutrients
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nutrient
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 needs by consuming
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 which they do not grow or
out
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are out
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 of season. Many
countries
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 cannot grow
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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due to
Linking Words
 harsh weather and climate conditions, and they only rely on exported
food
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.
Moreover
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,
countries
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,
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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export
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 their native
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 can earn foreign currencies.
This
Linking Words
 allows them to strengthen their economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, China
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export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
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 mango, jackfruit and other native
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 to foreign
countries
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 and
earn
Correct subject-verb agreement
earns
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 roughly 2 billion US dollars a year. One of the downsides of exporting
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 is half of their nutritional values are affected
due to
Linking Words
 long preservation. Harvesting, preserving and exporting to other
countries
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 is a time-consuming process, and it affects the nutrients of
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, exporting
food
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 causes
air
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pollution
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. Carrying
food
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 by airlines requires fuel, which causes global warming.
For example
Linking Words
, half of the
air
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pollution
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 of the world is caused by
air
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 travel, and a significant portion of
this
Linking Words
pollution
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caused
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is caused
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 by
food
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 exportation to other
countries
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. In conclusion, exporting
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 enables
nations
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 to taste and access the nutrients of them, which they do not grow and earn foreign currencies.
However
Linking Words
,
air
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 travel causes
air
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pollution
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due to
Linking Words
 fuel burning, and the nutrient values of
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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also
Linking Words
 get affected
due to
Linking Words
 the long preservation and exportation process.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the question and addresses both advantages and disadvantages. However, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of each point. Consider elaborating more on the disadvantages to achieve greater depth.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Some sentences can be smoother and more connected. For instance, explicit linking words and phrases can improve coherence. Consider reformulating sentences to transition better between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Strengthening the evidence in your examples would enhance your points. For example, providing more specific data or examples regarding the nutritional loss could bolster your argument on disadvantages. Aim to include diverse examples for each point.
task achievement
You have successfully identified both the advantages and disadvantages of air transport for exporting fruits and vegetables, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like China's exportation of mangoes, is effective in illustrating your points and demonstrating the economic benefits of fruit and vegetable exportation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • export
  • import
  • perishable goods
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • supply chain disruptions
  • economic benefits
  • culinary experiences
  • broader market
  • local produce
  • agricultural industries
  • external sources
  • competition
  • outcompete
  • vulnerable
  • high costs
  • freshness
  • accessibility
  • out of season
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