The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Environmentalism is a major
poular
trend Correct your spelling
popular
particularly
for the new generations of youngsters in the twenty-first century. Many argue that the most efficient way of preserving the Add the comma(s)
, particularly
environment
is a surge in price
of fossil fuels and I cannot agree more. I wholeheartedly advocate that Add an article
the price
this
strategy will lead to lower levels of contamination not only from cars but also
from factories
.
On the one hand, a policy to spike the price of gas will introduce a critical juncture which has the potential of leading to less dependence on private vehicles. For example
, if people figure out that they cannot afford the high cost, they would definitely entertain the idea of utilising the
affordable public transportation. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, since cars are a major source of contaminating the environment
, as greater numbers of citizens get rid of their personal autos, there will be less pollution and air quality will improve tremendously. Thus
, the fewer fuel-burning and contaminating combustion engines on the roads bring about a brighter prospect for air quality.
On the other hand
, factories
are another overwhelming contributor that pollute
the Change the verb form
pollutes
environment
immensly
which will witness an enormous pecuniary hardship in order to afford the increased prices. If Correct your spelling
immensely
factories
increase the efficiency of their fuel burning
engines, they can actively participate in preserving Add a hyphen
fuel-burning
the
nature. Electricity manufacturing plants release hazardous contaminating pollutants Correct article usage
apply
to
the air Change preposition
into
while
their efficiency rate is below 50% globally, for instance
. Enhancing the efficiency not only will result in more electricity production but also
will lead to less quantity of released pollutants which are detrimental to humans and living species alike.
In conclusion, I unequivocally endorse the adoption of this
policy to increase the price of fossil fuels in order to achieve superior outcomes in preserving the environment
and improving the health of nature including humans. Nevertheless
, this
approach results in less
personal cars being used to commute Correct quantifier usage
fewer
everyday
and Replace the word
every day
also
will lead to adoption
of modern and more efficient equipment by Add an article
the adoption
factories
.Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains a consistent flow. While your paragraphs are generally well-structured, ensure each paragraph logically follows from one another.
coherence cohesion
You can improve coherence by using more transitional words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific and detailed examples that strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
Make sure each point is clear and elaborated sufficiently to avoid any ambiguity.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay by clearly stating your viewpoint.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points and reinforces your stance, providing a strong closure.
complete response
Your essay covers multiple aspects of the question, addressing both the impact on private vehicles and factories.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented in your essay are clear and comprehensive, contributing to a well-rounded discussion.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples, such as the impact of car usage on pollution and the efficiency of factories.
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