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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the amount of UK investments in clean energy from 2008 to 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the amount of UK investments in clean energy from 2008 to 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#amount #uk #investments #energy #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart demonstrates
sectors
Use synonyms
 that have become the focus
for
Change preposition
of
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 UK
investment
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 in clean
energy
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 between 2008 and 2015. In 2008, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 only 3 clean
energy
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sectors
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 which are invested in the UK
such
Linking Words
 as
wind
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,
energy
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 smart technologies and other
sectors
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. If we compare these
sectors
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, the biggest
investment
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 was in the
wind
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 sector, which is approximately about 2
billion
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pounds
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.
This
Linking Words
 similar pattern happened for 3 periods in a row, between 2008 and 2010.
Wind
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 technologies
investment
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 experienced a rise in 2009 made them to
near
Change the word
nearly
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 7
billion
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pounds
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 during
this
Linking Words
 year,
on the
Linking Words
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
show examples
wind
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investment
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 declined about 1 million
pounds
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 in 2010 which made them to only 6 million
pounds
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. Even though there were fluctuations between 2008 and 2015, clean
energy
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investment
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 escalated in 2015
if
Correct word choice
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
compared to 2008, they have
risen
Verb problem
raised
show examples
 their
investment
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150x
Correct your spelling
150
 times in 2015,
nonetheless
Linking Words
; the other clean
energy
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investment
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 was approximately the same in these two periods. In 2008 and 2015, other clean
energy
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Use synonyms
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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 totaled about 2
billion
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pounds
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,
nevertheless
Linking Words
;
wind
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investment
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 jumped to
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 13
billion
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pounds
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 in 2015. In conclusion, UK clean
energy
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investment
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 escalated between 2008 and 2015, the biggest climb happened in
wind
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investment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, investment, energy, wind, billion, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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