Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays, people are too obsessed with buying or acquiring material things such as expensive clothes or cars because, they think that people around them will judge them based on what they possess.

In
this
contemporary era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
are more obsessed with buying expensive materials
such
ad
Correct your spelling
as
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clothes or cars because they think that
people
around them will judge them based on what they possess. I
a
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apply
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strongly agree with
this
statement.
Therefore
, in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I will discuss the reasons why they like to do
this
. The
Frist
Correct your spelling
First
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reason is following famous
people
. They
influence
Wrong verb form
are influenced
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from
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by
show examples
these
people
because they follow their social media accounts and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want to be like them. They think all famous individuals in
socail
Correct your spelling
social
media are glad when they are buying expensive products.
For example
, if they saw the trends of
Submitted by um.maktoum2014 on

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task response
Ensure you fully develop your main points with clear and specific examples to enhance your argument.
coherence
Try to use a well-structured introduction and conclusion to frame your essay effectively.
cohesion
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy and lexical resource for clear communication.
task response
You have confidently expressed your opinion on the topic.
task response
Your essay shows engagement with current societal issues, which is relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • material wealth
  • social media influence
  • advertising
  • high-end products
  • better lifestyle
  • peer pressure
  • societal norms
  • luxury items
  • financial strain
  • personal growth
  • temporary satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • fulfillment
What to do next:
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