IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

If a product is good and meet customer needs,then people will buy it. So advertising it is unneccessary. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#product #customer #people #unneccessary
In the context of
marketing
Correct article usage
the marketing
show examples
 era,
advert
Correct your spelling
advertising
show examples
 plays a crucial role
to increase
Change preposition
in increasing
show examples
 the
sale
 of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. Some people ,
however
 , think that if
customer
Add an article
the customer
a customer
show examples
 is
satissfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 with the
product
then
adds
Correct your spelling
ads
show examples
 are not much needed. I firmly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 disagree with
this
 , in order to launch a new
product
 in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 and increase the
existed
Replace the word
existing
show examples
product
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 advertisement is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
. Adds are one of the best
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to get familiar
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
product
 with
customer
Add an article
the customer
show examples
, not only features of the products but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
compared
Wrong verb form
compare
show examples
 the
product
 with other company's
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. Even if the
product
launched
Add a missing verb
is launched
show examples
 by
reliable
Add an article
a reliable
the reliable
show examples
 brand they still
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to spread awareness about the
product
.
For instance
 ,
although
Correct article usage
the Iphone
show examples
Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
show examples
 is the top brand among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phone companies and
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
knows
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
reliabilty
Correct your spelling
reliability
 of the
product
, still
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 adverts to launch new mobile in order to explain and compare the features of the
product
.
Moreover
, even though
Add an article
the
show examples
product
 is average , adverts
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 to influence consumers to buy the
product
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 once.
In addition
, no doubt
Correct article usage
the
show examples
advert is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 tool to introduce
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new
product
, it
also
 helps to
icrease
Correct your spelling
increase
 the
sale
 of the
product
that is
 already on the
shellls
Correct your spelling
shelves
shells
.Companies,
for example
, in order to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
,
such
 as Walmart,Costco,
No
Correct word choice
and No
show examples
frills
Capitalize word
Frills
show examples
, offer discounts on the products even if
product
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
 is reliable, so for promoting the offers to consumers they
adverts
Verb problem
advertise
show examples
 through e-mails and social media.
In other words
,no matter how
much
Correct word choice
good
show examples
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 is
good
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, to dominate the market advertisement is needed.
To conclude
, in
this
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisement
becvomes
Correct your spelling
becomes
become
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 essential part of
product
Correct article usage
a product
show examples
.
Avoding
Correct your spelling
Avoiding
this
 can result
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 more chances of failure the products and
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 the sales of existing
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.
Submitted by amarbatth367 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and relevant response to the prompt, but ensure that your ideas are fully expanded with specific examples and explanations for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points, making the essay more cohesive.
language
Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling. Minor errors are noticeable and can distract the reader. For instance, 'adds' should be 'ads,' 'satissfied' should be 'satisfied,' and 'reliabilty' should be 'reliability.'
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion and clearly states your position on the topic.
task achievement
You present a clear argument for the importance of advertisements in introducing new products and maintaining sales of existing products.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: