These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities?

It is true that, nowadays youngsters spend less
time
outside doing various physical
activities
.
This
essay will explain the root reason and suggest some solutions to tackle
this
problem.
To begin
with the cause,
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
of technology is changing the lifestyle of our younger generations. With today's advanced
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
young people are offered
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
of interesting options that they can choose to do
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
their free
time
.
For example
, they can play a video game, watch a movie or even shop online. All these various
activities
come with a small amount of energy compared to outdoor workouts. To illustrate more, imagine sitting behind your desk playing an adventure game, it gives you the same mental effect
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
doing outdoor adventure
while
, it doesn't make you physically tired, so it wouldn't be odd if you rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
stay home. To remedy
this
issue, parents and schools should put
activities
such
as hiking and mountain climbing in their
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
.
For instance
, parents could arrange picnic plans for weekends and take children out in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, play different games and let them spend some
time
outdoors.
This
can make a good memory for children and help them to value reality not just virtual environments. Schools can
also
take students for mountain climbing as a school camp. In
this
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
students can have fun spending some
time
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature with their classmates and can again gain their interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
activities
which
doen't
Correct your spelling
don't
show examples
envovle
Correct your spelling
involve
computer devices. In conclusion,
although
younger people may want to stick with the technology of the day and leave older useful
activities
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
parents and schools should take some steps in introducing them to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outdoor sports and make them enjoy their
time
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
Submitted by parsaj1381 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt clearly and comprehensively. For example, you can briefly mention a few more reasons for young people spending less time on outdoor activities, like safety concerns or urbanization.
coherence cohesion
Include a more compelling hook in the introduction to grab the reader's attention. Additionally, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Proofread for minor grammar and word choice errors, such as "doen't envovle" which should be "don't involve," to strengthen the clarity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the impact of technology and suggestions for parents and schools, are relevant and specific.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: