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Writing Samples
Band 3

When facing a difficult challenge or topic in school, students may respond in a variety of ways. Do you think that persistence is always the best way to deal with academic difficulties? Why or why not?

#challenge #topic #school #students #variety #persistence #difficulties
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From my point of view, When students face a difficult challenge in school they may respond in a variety of ways and I think
this
 is the best way to deal with
such
 situations.
First,
Let me share a personal example, When I was at school there was a presentation day having a random topic, So I got a topic which I did not know about , But I tried to speak and somehow I addressed the situation.In the end, my professor
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 praised me for not giving up
although
 he said many of my points
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 not accurate my confidence and encouragement towards the topic helped me to get average marks.
To conclude
 my talk, Students must Never give up attitude in order to succeed and prove their abilities.
Submitted by shahroz99dev on

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task achievement
The main argument that persistence is the best way to deal with academic difficulties is clear, but it should be further elaborated with more analysis on why this approach works effectively beyond personal experience.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea. More details and examples could be added to strengthen the explanation of the main points. Encourage the use of more specific examples and theoretical explanations.
coherence cohesion
There should be a smoother and more logical progression between ideas in the essay. Ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies with punctuation and capitalization. For instance, 'When' should not be capitalized in the first sentence, and 'was' should be 'were' when referring to the professor's comments. Also, 'But' should be part of the same sentence. Proofreading will help identify and correct these errors.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main point and leaves a strong final impression.
task achievement
The personal example adds a relatable touch to the essay and helps to strengthen the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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