In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays most
people
find jopes
Correct your spelling
jobs
out side
Correct your spelling
outside
thier
cities, which Correct your spelling
their
couse
them to stay away from Correct your spelling
causes
there
family and Correct your spelling
their
friends
. Some people
may argue that moving away from family and friends
has a postive
Correct your spelling
positive
effects
on your future. Others may believe that Fix the agreement mistake
effect
this
development
has more side effects . In my opinion, moving away from family has more advantages rather than disadvantages to a persone
future.
On Correct your spelling
person
one
hand, moving away from your family to get a Correct article usage
the one
jop
has great Correct your spelling
job
effets
Correct your spelling
effects
as well as
having more experience and better life
skills. by moving oninto
a new Correct your spelling
into
on into
socitysociety
, Correct your spelling
society society
people
will have more skills due to
the increase of
duties and Change preposition
in
responsibility
. Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
Fortheremore
, moving away to get a Correct your spelling
Furthermore
jop
will cause you to meet Correct your spelling
job
with
new Change preposition
apply
friends
and make up new connections due to
the new environmente
. Correct your spelling
environment
in addition
, moving to a new city for a jop
will let Correct your spelling
job
people
meet up with a new culture which will provide them with extra knowledge, thereby gaining extra knowledge.
On the other hand
, finding a
work away from family and Remove the article
apply
friends
has psychological
Add an article
a psychological
effect
on Fix the agreement mistake
effects
people
as well as
, homesickness due to
this
development
in there
Replace the word
their
life
. although
, people
can get used to their new city and their new way of living.
In conclusion, moving away from family and friends
has some disadvantages. although
, in my opinion, the advantages Correct word choice
However
as well as
having new
Add an article
a new
experience
, Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
life
skills, meeting with new friends
, making good connectonsconnections
, and learning about new cultures and new Correct your spelling
connections
people
will let
Verb problem
make
this
development
worth it for a better future in people
Change noun form
people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
development
will make a significant change in people
's lives.Submitted by abdalmhosenalmolhem on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Develop your main points further with more detailed explanations and specific examples to support them.
task achievement
Ensure correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar in your essay to improve clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples from your own knowledge or experience to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, noting both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work.
task achievement
You have identified key benefits, such as gaining new life skills and experiences, forming new connections, and learning about new cultures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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