In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays most
people
find
jopes
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jobs
out side
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outside
show examples
thier
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their
cities, which
couse
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causes
them to stay away from
there
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their
show examples
family and
friends
. Some
people
may argue that moving away from family and
friends
has a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
show examples
on your future. Others may believe that
this
development
has more side effects . In my opinion, moving away from family has more advantages rather than disadvantages to a
persone
Correct your spelling
person
future. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, moving away from your family to get a
jop
Correct your spelling
job
has great
effets
Correct your spelling
effects
as well as
having more experience and better
life
skills. by moving
oninto
Correct your spelling
into
on into
a new
socitysociety
Correct your spelling
society society
,
people
will have more skills
due to
the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
duties and
responsibility
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responsibilities
show examples
.
Fortheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, moving away to get a
jop
Correct your spelling
job
will cause you to meet
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new
friends
and make up new connections
due to
the new
environmente
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environment
.
in addition
, moving to a new city for a
jop
Correct your spelling
job
will let
people
meet up with a new culture which will provide them with extra knowledge, thereby gaining extra knowledge.
On the other hand
, finding
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
work away from family and
friends
has
psychological
Add an article
a psychological
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
on
people
as well as
, homesickness
due to
this
development
in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
life
.
although
,
people
can get used to their new city and their new way of living. In conclusion, moving away from family and
friends
has some disadvantages.
although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, in my opinion, the advantages
as well as
having
new
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a new
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
,
life
skills, meeting with new
friends
, making good
connectonsconnections
Correct your spelling
connections
, and learning about new cultures and new
people
will
let
Verb problem
make
show examples
this
development
worth it for a better future in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
this
development
will make a significant change in
people
's lives.
Submitted by abdalmhosenalmolhem on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Develop your main points further with more detailed explanations and specific examples to support them.
task achievement
Ensure correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar in your essay to improve clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples from your own knowledge or experience to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, noting both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work.
task achievement
You have identified key benefits, such as gaining new life skills and experiences, forming new connections, and learning about new cultures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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