Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “When people succeed, it is entirely because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with their success.” Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

Hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
is one of the most crucial factors that leads us to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
. There are people who believe that the
success
of a person is entirely because of hard work, not totally
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on
fortunate
Replace the word
fortune
show examples
. In my point of view, I agree with
this
statement. First of all,
success
is
somewhat
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
we achieve, we satisfy some requirements of a task or a job or an
expection
Correct your spelling
expectation
.
Sucess
Correct your spelling
Success
show examples
must be represented by the results we have made.
Therefore
, working hard is the most essential thing for anyone who wants to
suceed
Correct your spelling
succeed
. In studying at school, only when students try their best to learn and spend most of their time doing
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
, they have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
chance of getting good scores in the final examination.
Second,
luck is
out-of-control
Correct your spelling
out of control
show examples
. We can not decide when
fortunate
Replace the word
fortune
show examples
comes to us. Luck provides us
conditions
Change preposition
with conditions
show examples
or factors that smooth our process,
hence
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
us find
eaiser
Correct your spelling
easier
to head to our
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
.
For instance
, in a literature examination, students will find it is easier to pass the exam if the
questions
Add a verb
questions are
questions were
show examples
relevant to topics they paid more concentration on reviewing than other ones.
However
, if the students do not review carefully all of the learned topics, even when they meet these questions, they can not successfully obtain the expected results.
Therefore
luck is a small factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
our
success
and it is not important to appear in our path. In conclusion, hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
is the only thing we can control and perform.
Tt
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
is the main factor that
influence
Change the verb form
influences
show examples
our
success
.
Submitted by nghiangh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure all arguments are fully developed and supported with specific examples. Currently, the essay introduces points but doesn’t sufficiently elaborate on them.
task response
Use a consistent tense and be cautious with grammar and spelling to improve clarity and professionalism (e.g. 'successful,' 'expectation,' 'easier').
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition phrases can help connect ideas more smoothly, enhancing readability and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Try to introduce more connecting words or phrases between sentences and paragraphs to help the essay flow better logically.
task response
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The main arguments are identifiable and tied back to the topic effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Persistence
  • Diligence
  • Effort
  • Performance
  • Competitive fields
  • Practice
  • Talent
  • Serendipitous
  • Opportunities
  • Timing
  • Privilege
  • Connections
  • Inherited
  • Networks
  • Entrepreneurs
  • Right place at the right time
  • Preparation
  • Opportunity
  • Lucky breaks
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!