It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In today's generation, most people can't distinguish between whether it is the
right
thing or the wrong thing to do. One of the factors is
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
parents
aren't able to teach their
children
properly.
Parents
, and/or guardians, must teach
children
the differences between
right
and wrong at an early age. By giving them proper schooling,
parents
can expect their
children
to learn and grow
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. In school,
children
can
also
learn to socialize with other
children
and make new friends. With the
right
friends that they
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
, they can help them through various challenges and help teach the difference between
right
and wrong. Educators
also
play a vital role in their
children
's education. They must learn to understand their
children
and teach them the necessary skills that they must know. Educators must be able to captivate the
children
's
heart
Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
show examples
and have them respect their teachers. They must
also
provide emotional support and reward them if they have done something rather spectacular.
Although
punishment
is a good way to educate a
child
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it must not be used extensively.
Punishment
should only be carried out if the
child
has done something that everyone should not have done. It can
also
help with the
child
's discipline and help them to be a better person in the
later
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
future. There are various ways
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
out
these
Change the determiner
this punishment
these punishments
show examples
punishment
, but hitting and anything that will give a
child
phychological
Correct your spelling
psychological
damage is strictly forbidden. In conclusion, Education plays a vital role in a
child
's life and their future. Because of that
parents
and educators must properly teach their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
and help them grow to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Although
they have the authority to give out
punishment
, it is better to help them understand whether their action is
right
or wrong.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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advice
Your introduction introduces the topic well, but it can be made clearer. Try not to start with sweeping generalizations. Instead, briefly state your stance on the topic for improved clarity.
advice
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph contribute to that topic. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
advice
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to illustrate your points. When you mention educators or parents, try to incorporate particular scenarios or personal experiences to support your arguments.
advice
The sections discussing punishment could include a broader range of views and more specific recommendations for non-harmful punishments. Expand on the idea of positive reinforcement and discuss its effectiveness in teaching right from wrong.
positive highlight
The essay concludes well by summarizing the main points and reiterating the importance of education.
positive highlight
It offers a balanced view by acknowledging the role of both parents and educators in the development of a child's moral compass.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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