Some people say that the best way to reduce traffic and pollution is the government to increase tax of petrol (gasoline). Do you think there are more benefits or more drawbacks?
in today’s world, overexploitation of resources like
gasolines
is a major threat to our survival. Some Change the wording
gasoline
types of gasoline
gallons of gasoline
people
believe that the best that we could to
save ourselves from pollution and eliminate traffic is to Add a missing verb
do to
surge
the Verb problem
increase
levels
of the taxes on the cost of petrol and diesel. I would
be discussing both pros and cons of Wrong verb form
will
this
strategy in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, one of the main advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
behind
Change preposition
of
this
cause will be less pollution in the surroundings. If more and more people
prefer to use public transportation
to work then
there would be less
private motor vehicles and cars on the roads. Correct quantifier usage
fewer
Therefore
, it helps in reducing the smoke levels
in the air. Moreover
, lower levels
of pollution will further
reduce global warming effects and skin cancer related
diseases. Add a hyphen
cancer-related
Secondly
, governing Bodies will get
favoured Verb problem
be
from
both Change preposition
by
of
Change preposition
apply
the
sides through Correct article usage
apply
rise
in the tax Add an article
a rise
the rise
levels
on gasoline and increased revenue on public transportation
. Overall
, it benefits the cash flow in the country.
On the flip side, there are many disadvantages associated with it. Firstly
, people
will be get
affected by longer wait times in travelling Verb problem
apply
due to
high
demand Correct article usage
the high
of
Change preposition
for
the
public Correct article usage
apply
transportation
. And ,it would have direct
impact on Add an article
a direct
employees
concentration Change noun form
employees'
employee's
levels
at work. As long
queues and high wait times at stations will lead to more fatigue and drained energy Correct word choice
Long
levels
. Secondly
, people
who live countryside and use to
travel to cities for employment in their private transport will still prefer to choose their own motor vehicles Verb problem
apply
due to
less frequent bus and train schedules at night time. These situations, thus
leads
to more and more Change the verb form
lead
people
to still opt for private transport despite the rise of taxes on fuel.
In conclusion, I believe that disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
outweighs
the advantages . AsChange the verb form
outweigh
,
there are more valid reasons behind choosing private Remove the comma
apply
transportation
because of its leisure and its own convenience.Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the question. Provide a clear opinion on whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks or vice versa.
task achievement
Strengthen your essay with more specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the relevance and richness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical structure in your arguments. For example, each paragraph should focus clearly on one main idea. Avoid jumping between points within a paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This will help guide the reader smoothly through your essay.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and a logical conclusion which is relevant to the topic discussed.
task achievement
The essay makes genuine attempts to discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example