Some people say that the best way to reduce traffic and pollution is the government to increase tax of petrol (gasoline). Do you think there are more benefits or more drawbacks?

in today’s world, overexploitation of resources like
gasolines
Change the wording
gasoline
types of gasoline
gallons of gasoline
show examples
is a major threat to our survival. Some
people
believe that the best that we could
to
Add a missing verb
do to
show examples
save ourselves from pollution and eliminate traffic is to
surge
Verb problem
increase
show examples
the
levels
of the taxes on the cost of petrol and diesel. I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be discussing both pros and cons of
this
strategy in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, one of the main
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
behind
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
cause will be less pollution in the surroundings. If more and more
people
prefer to use public
transportation
to work
then
there would be
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
private motor vehicles and cars on the roads.
Therefore
, it helps in reducing the smoke
levels
in the air.
Moreover
, lower
levels
of pollution will
further
reduce global warming effects and skin
cancer related
Add a hyphen
cancer-related
show examples
diseases.
Secondly
, governing Bodies will
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
favoured
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides through
rise
Add an article
a rise
the rise
show examples
in the tax
levels
on gasoline and increased revenue on public
transportation
.
Overall
, it benefits the cash flow in the country. On the flip side, there are many disadvantages associated with it.
Firstly
,
people
will be
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
affected by longer wait times in travelling
due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transportation
. And ,it would have
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
impact on
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
concentration
levels
at work.
As long
Correct word choice
Long
show examples
queues and high wait times at stations will lead to more fatigue and drained energy
levels
.
Secondly
,
people
who live countryside and
use to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
travel to cities for employment in their private transport will still prefer to choose their own motor vehicles
due to
less frequent bus and train schedules at night time. These situations,
thus
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to more and more
people
to still opt for private transport despite the rise of taxes on fuel. In conclusion, I believe that
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the advantages . As
,
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apply
show examples
there are more valid reasons behind choosing private
transportation
because of its leisure and its own convenience.
Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on

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task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the question. Provide a clear opinion on whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks or vice versa.
task achievement
Strengthen your essay with more specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the relevance and richness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical structure in your arguments. For example, each paragraph should focus clearly on one main idea. Avoid jumping between points within a paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This will help guide the reader smoothly through your essay.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and a logical conclusion which is relevant to the topic discussed.
task achievement
The essay makes genuine attempts to discuss both advantages and disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excise tax
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable transportation
  • public transit
  • eco-friendly alternatives
  • commuter benefits
  • fuel efficiency
  • environmental levy
  • traffic congestion
  • renewable energy sources
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