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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the percentages of three groups of Japanese children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the percentages of three groups of Japanese children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #percentages #three #groups #japanese #children #part #four #kinds #activities #information #features #comparisons
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The presented bar diagram provides information about the percentages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in Japan that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 into three categories engaging in four types of activities in 2018. From an
overall
Linking Words
persperctive
Correct your spelling
perspective
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of children in Japan choose to play
Computer
Use synonyms
Games
Use synonyms
 among others and the least wanted task was Reading. Examining the details, in Malaysia, there was exactly a half
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescents
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prefer to spend their activities in
Computer
Use synonyms
Games
Use synonyms
. Watching TV placed as the second highest proportion, with 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of children.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Board
Games
Use synonyms
 and Reading followed closely behind with a quarter and 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively. The same condition
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened in China,
although
Linking Words
 the number of
Computer
Use synonyms
Games
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower number in 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 compared to Malaysia.
In addition
Linking Words
, the most interesting point was Nigeria, which had 60
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 of young people who chose
playing
Change the verb form
to play
show examples
Computer
Use synonyms
Games
Use synonyms
, with only half of
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
to Watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
 TV (30%).
Moreover
Linking Words
, only 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 like to play Board
Games
Use synonyms
 and 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 vote for Reading.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
Computer
Use synonyms
Games
Use synonyms
 reached a half proportion in Sudan, the number of Board
Games
Use synonyms
 and Watching TV had the same
conditons
Correct your spelling
conditions
, being 30% of the total. Reading stayed constant as the least common activity, with only 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
 population
like
Replace the word
liking
show examples
 it.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, moreover".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, games, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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