IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvatages of working and living in a foreign country.

#people #countries #periods #time #job #study #face #difficulties #disadvatages #country
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Nowadays
people
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 are migrating abroad either for study or work. There are many advantages like
job
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 opportunities and higher
education
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.
However
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, it
also
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 comes with drawbacks
such
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 as expensive
education
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 and high competition to get
jobs
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain these points below There are two main
benefits
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Change preposition
of
show examples
migrating
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for a period of time . First , men and women move to foreign lands in
order
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 to seek higher
education
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 because international
education
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 provides students an opportunity to gain experience in a foreign land which will add value to their dream
jobs
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. Second ,
people
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 are moving to different nations to get better
job
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 opportunities associated with good salaries
as well as
Linking Words
benefits
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 .
For example
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 , many doctors working in India earn money around 1 lakh rupees per month and
therefore
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 , most of the Indian doctors are moving to Canada in
order
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 to earn better salaries in Canadian dollars associated with government
benefits
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 too.
However
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,
benefits
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 come
along with
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 some drawbacks too. Primary, many
people
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 migrate to another country to get better
education
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 which is hard to afford for many families .
For example
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 ,If an Indian student applies for
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
show examples
 degree in Canada which costs
around
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than $50,000 . International
education
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 is double as compared to domestic
education
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 and
thus
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 it requires a lot of financial support to acquire
education
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 in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
 land. Another drawback is hard to get
jobs
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due to
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 high competition in the market . These days
people
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 are learning multiple skills in
order
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 to get the best pay scale
job
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 but it is getting tough for a lot of beginners who just graduated from college to apply for skilled
jobs
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 and wait for years for
a good positions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good position
good positions
show examples
.
For example
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 , in Canada , many engineers could not find
jobs
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due to
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 the lack of positions available to them. In conclusion , currently,
people
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 are moving to different countries in
order
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 to get a better
education
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 with a good salary .
However
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 , It
also
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 comes with some drawbacks
such
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 as the high price of
education
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 and the tight
job
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 market.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that the essay is fully cohesive without any sentence fragments or abrupt endings. Try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas more thoroughly. This may involve adding more detail, providing more varied examples, or exploring more aspects of the topic.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of living and working abroad, addressing the prompt comprehensively.
task achievement
Clear and relevant examples are provided which help illustrate the points being made about education costs and job opportunities.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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